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Afternoon I am really going to air hockey table work and air hockey table get everything done before the evening, then can go out. V. sleepy, though. It's so hot. Maybe I'll just close my eyes for air hockey table five minutes. Catnaps are said to air hockey table be air hockey table an excellent way of air hockey table reviving oneself. Used to air hockey table excellent effect by Margaret Thatcher and air hockey table Winston Churchill. Good idea. Maybe I'll lie down on the bed. 7.30 p.m. Oh, Bloody Hell. Friday 9 June 9st 2, alcohol units 7, air hockey table 22, calories 2145, minutes spent inspecting face for air hockey table wrinkles 230. 9 a.m. Hurrah! Night out with girls tonight. 7 p.m. Oh no. Turns out Rebecca is air hockey table hockey table coming. An evening with Rebecca is air hockey table like swimming in sea with jellyfish: all will be air hockey table going along perfectly pleasantly then suddenly you get painful lashing, destroying confidence at air hockey table stroke. Trouble is, Rebecca's stings are aimed so subtly air hockey table air hockey table one's Achilles' heels, like Gulf War missiles going 'Fzzzzzz whoossssh' through Baghdad hotel corridors, that never see them coming. Sharon says am not twenty-four any more and air hockey table should be air hockey table mature enough to air hockey table deal with Rebecca. She is air hockey table right. Midnight. air hockey table es wororrible. Am olanpassit. Face collapsin. Saturday 10 June Ugh. Woke up this morning feeling happy (still drunk from last night), then suddenly remembered air hockey table of air hockey table how yesterday's girls' air hockey table had turned out. After first bottle air hockey table air hockey table Chardonnay was just about to air hockey table broach subject of air hockey table constant mini-break frustration when Rebecca suddenly said, 'How's Magda?' 'Fine,' I replied. 'She's incredibly attractive, isn't she?' 'Mmm,' I said. 'And she's amazingly young-looking - I mean she could easily pass for air hockey table twenty-four or twenty-five. You were at air hockey table school together, weren't you, Bridget? Was air hockey table three or four years below you?' 'She's six months older,' I said, feeling the first twinges of air hockey table horror. 'Really?' said Rebecca, then left a air hockey table embarrassed pause. 'Well, Magda's lucky. She's got really good skin.' I felt the blood draining from my brain as the horrible truth of air hockey table what Rebecca was saying hit me. 'I mean, she doesn't smile as much as you do. air hockey table probably why she hasn't got so many lines.' I grasped the table for air hockey table support, trying to air hockey table get my breath. I am ageing prematurely, I realized. Like a time-release film of air hockey table a plum turning into a prune. 'How's your diet going, Rebecca?, said Shazzer. Aargh. Instead of air hockey table denying it, Jude and air hockey table Shazzer were accepting my premature ageing as read, tactfully trying to air hockey table change the subject to air hockey table spare my feelings. I sat, in a spiral of air hockey table terror, grasping my sagging face. 'Just going to air hockey table the ladies,' I said through clenched teeth like a ventriloquist keeping my face fixed, to air hockey table reduce the appearance of air hockey table wrinkles. 'Are you all right, Bridge?' said rude. 'Fn,' I replied stiffly. Once in front of air hockey table the mirror I reeled as the harsh overhead lighting revealed my thick, age-hardened, sagging flesh. I imagined the others back at air hockey table the table, chiding Rebecca for air hockey table alerting me to air hockey table what everyone had long been saying about me but I never needed to air hockey table know. Was suddenly overwhelmed air hockey table urge to air hockey table rush out and air hockey table ask all the diners how old they thought I was: like at air hockey table school once, when I conceived private conviction that I was mentally subnormal and air hockey table went round asking everyone in the playground, 'Am I mental?' and air hockey table twenty-eight of air hockey table them said, 'Yes.' Once get on tack of air hockey table thinking about ageing there is air hockey table no escape. Life suddenly seems like holiday where, halfway through, everything starts accelerating towards the end. Feel need to air hockey table do something to air hockey table stop ageing process, but what? Cannot afford face-lift. Caught in hideous cleft stick as both fatness and air hockey table dieting are in themselves ageing. Why do I look old? Why? Stare at air hockey table old ladies in street trying to air hockey table work out all tiny processes by which faces become old not young. Scour newspapers for air hockey table ages of air hockey table everyone, trying to air hockey table decide if they look old for air hockey table their age. 11 a.m. Phone just rang. It was Simon, to air hockey table tell me about the latest girl he has got his eye on. 'How old is air hockey table she?' I said, suspiciously, 'Twenty-four.' Aargh aargh. Have reached the age when.aair-hockey-table aiir-hockey-table airr-hockey-table air--hockey-table air-hhockey-table air-hoockey-table air-hocckey-table air-hockkey-table air-hockeey-table air-hockeyy-table air-hockey--table air-hockey-ttable air-hockey-taable air-hockey-tabble air-hockey-tablle air-hockey-tablee ir-hockey-table ar-hockey-table ai-hockey-table airhockey-table air-ockey-table air-hckey-table air-hokey-table air-hocey-table air-hocky-table air-hocke-table air-hockeytable air-hockey-able air-hockey-tble air-hockey-tale air-hockey-tabe air-hockey-tabl a ir-hockey-table ai r-hockey-table air -hockey-table air- hockey-table air-h ockey-table air-ho ckey-table air-hoc key-table air-hock ey-table air-hocke y-table air-hockey -table air-hockey- table air-hockey-t able air-hockey-ta ble air-hockey-tab le air-hockey-tabl e air-hockey-table iair-hockey-table arir-hockey-table ai-r-hockey-table airh-hockey-table air-ohockey-table air-hcockey-table air-hokckey-table air-hocekey-table air-hockyey-table air-hocke-y-table air-hockeyt-table air-hockey-atable air-hockey-tbable air-hockey-talble air-hockey-tabele yir-hockey-table aar-hockey-table aiv-hockey-table airphockey-table air-xockey-table air-hdckey-table air-hoskey-table air-hoceey-table air-hockoy-table air-hocker-table air-hockeyftable air-hockey-qable air-hockey-tqble air-hockey-tazle air-hockey-tabve air-hockey-tabld Financial and air hockey table emotional challenges, should first be air hockey table forced upon one wholly against one's will, then rudely snatched away just when one is air hockey table starting to air hockey table get into it. Was really beginning to air hockey table enjoy the feeling that normal service was suspended and air hockey table it was OK to air hockey table lie in bed as long as you want, put anything you fancy into your mouth, and air hockey table drink alcohol whenever it should chance to air hockey table pass your way, even in the mornings. Now suddenly we are all supposed to air hockey table snap into self-discipline like lean teenage greyhounds. 10 p.m. Ugh. Perpetua, slightly senior and air hockey table therefore thinking she is air hockey table in charge of air hockey table me, was at air hockey table her most obnoxious and air hockey table bossy, going on and air hockey table on to air hockey table the point of utter boredom about latest half-million-pound property she is planning to buy with her rich-but-overbred boyfriend, Hugo: 'Yars, yars, well it is north-facing but they've done something frightfully clever with the light.' I looked at.

That I was not getting on with my work. But then I read the message: Message Jones You appear to air hockey table have forgotten your skirt. As I think is air hockey table made perfectly clear in your contract of air hockey table employment, staff are expected to be air hockey table fully dressed at air hockey table all times. Cleave Hah! Undeniably flirtatious. Thought for air hockey table a little while whilst pretending to air hockey table study tedious-beyond-belief manuscript from lunatic Have never messaged Daniel Cleaver before but brilliant thing about messaging system is air hockey table you can be air hockey table really quite cheeky and air hockey table informal, even to air hockey table your boss. Also can spend ages practising. This is air hockey table what sent. Message Cleave Sir, am appalled by message. Whilst skirt could reasonably be air hockey table described as a little on the skimpy side (thrift being ever our watchword in editorial), consider it gross misrepresentation to air hockey table describe said skirt as absent, and air hockey table considering contacting union. Jones Waited in frenzy of air hockey table excitement for air hockey table reply. Sure enough Message Pending quickly flashed up. Pressed RMS: Will whoever has thoughtlessly removed the edited script of KAFKA'S.In kitchen having a fag. Daniel is asleep. Actually, I think he's pretending to be asleep. Completely weird evening. Realized that our entire relationship so far has been based on the idea that one or other of us is supposed to be resisting having sex. Spending an evening together when the idea was that we were supposed to have sex at the end of it was nothing short of bizarre. We sat watching VE Day on television with Daniel's arm uncomfortably round my shoulders as if we were two fourteen-year-olds in the cinema. It was really digging into the back of my neck but I didn't feel I could ask him to move it. Then when it was getting impossible to avoid the subject of bedtime any longer we went all formal and English. Instead of tearing each other's clothes off like beasts, we stood there going, 'Do use the.aair-hockey-table aiir-hockey-table airr-hockey-table air--hockey-table air-hhockey-table air-hoockey-table air-hocckey-table air-hockkey-table air-hockeey-table air-hockeyy-table air-hockey--table air-hockey-ttable air-hockey-taable air-hockey-tabble air-hockey-tablle air-hockey-tablee ir-hockey-table ar-hockey-table ai-hockey-table airhockey-table air-ockey-table air-hckey-table air-hokey-table air-hocey-table air-hocky-table air-hocke-table air-hockeytable air-hockey-able air-hockey-tble air-hockey-tale air-hockey-tabe air-hockey-tabl a ir-hockey-table ai r-hockey-table air -hockey-table air- hockey-table air-h ockey-table air-ho ckey-table air-hoc key-table air-hock ey-table air-hocke y-table air-hockey -table air-hockey- table air-hockey-t able air-hockey-ta ble air-hockey-tab le air-hockey-tabl e air-hockey-table iair-hockey-table arir-hockey-table ai-r-hockey-table airh-hockey-table air-ohockey-table air-hcockey-table air-hokckey-table air-hocekey-table air-hockyey-table air-hocke-y-table air-hockeyt-table air-hockey-atable air-hockey-tbable air-hockey-talble air-hockey-tabele gir-hockey-table aor-hockey-table aip-hockey-table airxhockey-table air-dockey-table air-hickey-table air-holkey-table air-hocuey-table air-hockey-table air-hockex-table air-hockeyntable air-hockey-pable air-hockey-tible air-hockey-taxle air-hockey-tabne air-hockey-tabls Towards me and air hockey table stood just behind while he said stiffly, 'Do you need driving back to air hockey table London? I'm staying here but I could get my car to air hockey table take you.' 'What, all on its own?' I said. He blinked at air hockey table me. 'Durr! Mark has a company car and air hockey table a driver, silly,' said Una. 'Thank you, that's very kind,, I said. 'But I shall be air hockey table taking one of air hockey table my trains in the morning.' 2 a.m. Oh, why am I so unattractive? Why? Even a man who wears bumblebee socks thinks I air hockey table air hockey table Hate the New Year. Hate everyone. Except Daniel Cleaver. Anyway, air hockey table got giant tray-sized bar of air hockey table Cadbury's Dairy Milk left air hockey table from air hockey table on dressing table, also amusing joke gin and air hockey table tonic miniature. Am going to air hockey table consume them air hockey table air hockey table have fag. Tuesday 3 January 9st 4 (terrifying slide into obesity - why? why?), alcohol units 6 (excellent), cigarettes 23 (v.g.), calories 2472. 9 a.m. Ugh. Cannot face.

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