Tomorrow I’m going to buy my daughter a keyboard. A cheap one. She asked for it. She wants to learn to play it. She BELIEVES she can learn to play. And sing. And make music. She told me on the phone that she’s going to form a band with two little girlfriends, Briana and Naseem. The band will be called "Heaven". She told me all these things on the phone, because I can only see her 6-7 hours a week. I’m an evil, evil man. I’m being punished for my sins. My daughter is full of enthusiasm, passion, truth and has no time for regrets or bad feelings. No time to waste. She has to create, dream and pursue her own UTOPIA.

My Utopia disappeared a few years ago, it imploded and sank into a sea of indifference and cynicism.

Now I’m in love again, and maybe one day I’ll be pulsating and sweating again and I’ll find the guts to "Epater le Bourgeois" one more time.

In the meantime I’ll look for inspiration in Alice. And Debra.

  Albury, 14th February 2004 A.D.

pankow 2004 ©