from passionate "Cheung VS Tam" to the non-repenting Cheng DieYi
With years go by, Cheung Kwok Wing (Leslie's Chinese name - hereafter I shortened it to Cheung) gradually grows up to be the legendary ever-green tree with flowing, swinging swigs, standing proudly amongst the versatile pop scene in HK - from a handsome singer, the dream lover of passionate teenager girls to be the boldest actor in HK most honest to his own living style, the "forever young Gorgor".
Whatever people say, from "Farewell to Concubine", "Tempress Moon" to "Happy together", "A time to remember", people cannot read the HK film scene without Cheung. No matter whether people like him or not, people have to admit that, without Gorgor, the most rich most eye-blinding shining red patch will be missing.
His singing, his character, his beauty, his smiles, his most versatile images in the films are the most shining dreams of the general people - he dares the indulgence we dare not to attempt, he possesses the brightness we dream of, he suffers the same vulnerability like us, he yields the same freedom that we long for.
From him all people can seek certain satisfaction to their various desires, and gorgor himself is living in even greater varieties of lives than our imagination, even more satisfying than what we can expect to see.
Cheung heading towards deep end - the two lives of Gorgor
Cheung's fans of songs and fans of movies are two completely different type of people, because his life composes of two splitting parts: half swinging in the lonely struggles and sour fames, innocent but suffers repeated attacks; half with knowledge of the unpredictability of life and his own need, carefree of all judgements from outside. So, Cheung has two lives, really.
The first life a idol called Leslie who lived by his songs. From a teenage boy working after a bright life to become a successful man, gone through all the sufferings in struggling and the helplessness of being famous. At his peak he suddenly announced his retirement, disappearing from the brightest circle - the singer Leslie is dead, murdered by rumours, pressure and deep disappointment. The second life is the international actor nicknamed "master Wing" who lived by his movies, interpreting sexy or daring characters, narrating tragic or deeply touching stories. "Master Wing" already familiar with the ups and downs in this world, well experienced with the hypocrisy, living coolly by his own style. He doesn't care other's opinion and discussions, but only concentrates on movies he can act, sings what he likes, lives what he likes.
Fans from the past years criticized Gorgor now lost his temper and "man" strength, now acting, half man, half woman acting in pretentious movies.
Fans of the movies absolutely dismissed that adolescent dancing singer in those years, feeling that idol years of Cheung are those small pimples in his life.
Splitting Cheung, they are the two lives of one man.
About Leslie: the old story of his ups and downs in songs
After each performance, stumbling back to backstage with the uproar of booing, Leslie swore to himself: "I won't do it anymore!" But he appeared the next day, to face the boos that always targeted only to him.
Born in 1956 to a well-off garment merchant family, parents separated, the little time he had with parents left him a saddened but obedient child.
With poor academic results, his dad sent him to England to further his secondary school studies. (my comment: according to Leslie, his English was excellent, but his maths always failed, do you know, according to reports, Leslie could recite the whole nuptical scene from Romeo and Juliet from his early days?). During his routine but boring school life, he sometimes sang in restaurants. While he was asked to return due to his father's illness, he was somehow relieved (that's not true, since Leslie told he would like to finish his studies at University!).
In 1977 when he incidentially participated in a singing competition and got a second place, he decided to take it as his career. His first album "I like Dreaming" out in the next year, but Hong Kong public was accustomed to the tune and strong voices of Roman Chow, Sam Hui, and Michael Tsoi's and could not accept Cheung's low voice. But Cheung believed this is his destiny and determined to embark on this dim future as a singer. His low tide lasted for seven years. His co-actor Danny Chan in "unemployed graduate" was gaining fame, but despite his efforts, Cheung did not got much luck, and even sabotaged to film a porn film "The red chamber", he worked hard in singing but got no positive response. May be no response was even better than the booing and curses that he got from the vicious audience.
During one performance, the elated Cheung threw his hat to the audience but the hat was thrown back together with the laughs and another uproar of boo from the audience - with his dignity and professionalism he finished the song but he was greatly shattered.
Several years later, a lady singer recalled those moments when he returned to backstage, he was terribly pale, eyes were hollowed, she tried to pat and comfort him, all of a sudden he broke down and sobbed in her lap, "Why did they have to hurt me? What had I done wrong?". While everybody thought he would give up, he returned to the stage next day.
Such discouragement prolonged to day after day, year after year continuation, he persisted with extra-ordinary strength but his eyes were losing shine - his precious youth lost behind the curtain without anybody noticing. In his loneliness Cheung matured gradually, going through all the bitterness in gaining mature. When singing has become only a pathetic job for a living, something must continue but seems hopeless for him, his singing, however, was gaining increasing charm.
Until one evening in 1985, applause finally came after his performance, he bowed deeply but could not even manage a smile. That year, he was 29.
That time, Alan Tam was the hottest, Danny Chan, Ah Lam were already famous, Anita Mui was signed to Capital Artist, Andy Lau and Jackie Cheung not yet in the singing scene.
"Monica" brought him fame, but before he enjoyed any taste of success, he got headaches already since this "Thanks thanks Monica" started the severe competition between Alan Tam and Cheung, also with this song saved him from those nightly discouraging performance at nightclubs and bars and gained him confidence again.
Catering for the market trend, he got quite a lot of pop silly songs, worthy to remember are three dancing songs: the sexy "Black midnight": midnight, when man are tempted by moonlight; "Betraying fate": the desperate lonely teenager deserted by the world; "The wild stormy group": the hopeless wild groups without a tomorrow.
1986, "Who feel the same?" got nominated and listed to "Top Ten Pop Song of the Year" and "Couldn't Sleep" listed in 1987, "Summer Romance" became the top selling album of the year, Leslie finally became a superstar.
This caused fights among the fans. Alan Tam's fans could not tolerate such threat from Cheung - there were insults, using all the worst, most hurting wordings they could think of, tearing photos, posters, even fighting. There were more - Leslie brought his special ordered car from Japan to his concert, after the concert when his got back the car, it was full of cuts and scares on the body. On his birthday, a banner appeared at the entrance to his record company: "Cheung died of AIDS".
During one seasonal award ceremony, Alan Tam did not attended and Leslie was unwilling to face all the insults by the disappointed Alan fans, he fell sick and left without taking the award. In 1987 award ceremony, Alan announced he would not participate in competition for Most Popular Singer anymore, fans jumped and put all the blames on Cheung. All throughout such scenes, Leslie was constantly being attacked and was deeply hurt. And yet he was helpless.
On his 33rd birthday, he unveiled: "Final encounter" determined retiring from the peak, he thought he can stand the loneliness.
The years 1988 - 1989 without competition from Alan Tam, though there were other bands, but actually the pop scene was dominated by Anita Mui and Leslie Cheung. Cheung was enjoying good sales of his latest albums and his songs got to the top of the pop charts. He was at the peak and yet he was not happy. Now he's at the top but somehow because Alan withdraw from the competition. When his record company negociated with TVB, the dominating tv channel, his contract was the bargaining power - he was treated like a commodity. On his birthday, he reveiled this retirement decision, surprising everybody. There were a lot of guesses, but nobody knew the real answer, this probably will be a mystery forever.
Before he left, he shot a first musical tv drama for TVB: "Sunset in Paris" to go through his beautiful songs in the mini-film. (my comment: this is the first time in TVB history to have a drama shot in Paris, first time to have a mini-film, first time to have a musical format for a drama, and of course, first time to have three superstars together for just a TV film! Cherie and Maggie - they promised only by Leslie's personal invitation as he claimed this would be the last time to work with him!)
Cheung had a record to sing other singers'song - "Salute" to demonstrate his power over songs - "Childhood" and "Sweating" he was divine! By the time the last record was out, he was already living in a foreign country. When the wind blow again, he was leading a quiet common life, he is no longer in competition. There were a lot of rumours about him, like he got a kettle of boiling water from neighbour for Fung Shui reason, like he was accompanied by a man elder than him, like he went to far away place to watch movies. He hid away from people, but could not hide away from rumours.
About "master Wing", the new floating legend in the movies
In earlier years, Cheung was just a handsome actor among the flirting beauties, after he met Wong Ka Wai, he learnt how to act, gradually become a good actor. (I disagree here: from right beginning, Cheung devoted to acting no less than his singing. With his first movie in early 1980s, as supporting actor to Danny Chan, Cheung was already awarded the Best Supporting Actor! As for myself, I first noticed Cheung by his acts in TV drama - his devotion was already very impressive - then I decided to attend his concert to find out more - bang! I decided he is my idol forever!!!!!!)
Before 1989, even when Cheung was the main character in the movie, there was not too much for him to explore: "Drummer" he was a rebellious youth; "A Chinese ghost story" he was scared by ghosts; "Rouge" he was a young aristrocrat having difficulty to adjust to common life; "A Better Tomorrow" he was a honest, bold, impulsive cop. Anybody could have filled these roles - seems got him to sings the theme songs was more important. (I don't agree at all! As international critics said each of these roles all got completely different style and characters and I love Cheung's interpretation, especially in the "Chinese Ghost Story". "Rouge" nearly won Cheung the Best Actor Award - only the judge panel failed him saying his part is small in proportion in the film - well. To me, who sings the theme song is minor, I love to see Cheung acts. And what about Patrick Tam's "Nomad"????)
Since he left HK, his life was kind of boring and meaningless. A real star cannot be left alone, otherwise it will lose its value. But he loathed the media's inquisitive eyes into his private life. Since there was no way he could get away from continued rumours about him, he finally decided to come back and film movies. Uproar that he ate his words. Chow Yun Fat supported him: if one is happy and not hurting others, why you have to be locked up by your own words? Anita Mui said, he said retirement from singing, not movie, why tie his hands? He was grateful for his friends' words - but he should be more grateful to Wong kar wai - although Gorgor doesn't like Wong, because Gorgor doesn't have much say.
Since "Days being Wild" he knows the secrets of acting: using his eyes, his body language, his style. The sexy idol singing love songs is dead, instead, living in the screen is a man a bit older, but full of style, his eyes a bit bewildered, but full of meaning, carefree of other's opinion, just doing what he wants to do - he's "master Wing" (but now people used to call him Gorgor). (my comment again: I think the order should be: "Days of being wild" was finished before Cheung retired and left for Canada. It was because they finally awarded Cheung the "Best Actor" that drew Cheung back to HK after the presentation ceremony - and it was "Farewell my Concubine" which really lured Cheung back to the acting - it was a very bold act to take up a gay role - but Cheung once decided, he never went back)
Then, we have "Ashes of time": he waited in a deserted place, regardless of all the bloodshed happening daily around him, quietly aching for the love of a woman; "The bride with white hair": we have him disregarded all the norms and taboos to pursue his love; "He's a woman, She's a man": a vulnerable famous musician confused by his uncontrollable desires; unfortunately in "Shanghai Grand" it was not successful: maybe because previously Chow Yun Fat's carefree style was already well known for the character, Cheung has chosen another angle to act, but compared to Andy Lau's open and stubborn, Ching Ching's daring and cute, Cheung's pains and mystery seems a bit pretentious. Master Wing himself is not a revenger, he's someone lives and dies for love, bloody revenge stories does not suit him. (I deeply disagree: I think Cheung's perfomance in "Shanghai Grand" is memorable!).
When he dares to bare his feelings before the camera, he's not just a star but has elevated to a much higher level. When he discovered his true self, whether he is with Wong Kar Wai or not is not important any more.
While you are at the brightness, you feel lonely, while you are most prosperous, you feel sad at the same time. He was not happy though is career is at the top. But, he knows that, acting, like living, be himself. by this motto, he became a superstar. Now, he dares to express himself, he dares to sing again.
When he first become "Gorgor", he was tied by his pledge of retirement - naturally a singer, he could only sing in his movies, and carefully announced that those soundtrack would not be issued in records. His friends loved to attend gatherings at his home, while he was a bit drunk, he would sing karaoke, one song after another until he was exhausted, while everybody enjoyed listening. Such scenes hurts - seeing a superstar can only sing karaoke at home!
What is a pledge? What's "to follow your heart"? Although now he's got quality movies and no longer a "vase" in movies, but there's still a knot in his heart, he was not happy.
Until "Farewell my concubine". This movie's attraction is not the award from Cannes, not the gay attraction, not being a male acting the female character but the obsession of Cheng Die Yi: a pledge to a lifelong career, a pledge to love, you live, die, pursue, persist by this pledge. What he loved was not Duan Xiao Liu, but the General that in the opera the concubine was doomed to love and to die for. This is the fate of the story. When the curtain is down, life is gone with it.
Cheung is not Cheng Die Yi. But he knows the feeling. For his singing career, he suffered, he sacrified, under enormous pressure, after so many years restricting himself carefully, he need to burst out. When all these indescribable pains are out, there is no more restrictions. After Cheng Die Yi, he is free. He's more confident with "Tempress Moon" and "Midnight songs". He even dares to act the X-rate film "Viva Erotica" a complete new image as a despondent X-film director.
He dared to co-operate with Wong Kar Wai again in "Happy Together" about the relationship between a gay couple, a theme he once deplores (really????). The real theme of the film was about returning to the substance of life. Cheung was not put in a adorable role - he was somebody taking advantage of his own attractions to others. Wong was awarded in Cannes. Cheung won his confidence and freedom in the straight world.
Then, he went to Shanghai to act in "A time to remember", in full confidence that he could act as a English-speaking undercover communist.
And he dared to declare he will sing again. Most of the songs in his 1995 album "Beloved" are senseless theme songs from movies (movie songs are senseless? Again I disagree here - Cheung has written the three songs for "Midnight songs" and they really reflect the opera style matching to the movie, I think they are well-written and they are Cheung's classics! And those songs for the movie "He's a man, she's a woman" are touching, lively, soft-landing songs which are very popular until today! And the theme song for "The bride with white hair" also written by Cheung - what a song! The mood is so helpless and desperate, crying out the emotional, hopeless love in the tragedy! This is one of my most favourite songs of Cheung! Please notice the individual mood Cheung attaches to each song!) but in "When love became a thing in the past" really sings out his own feeling, slowly disappearing into the boundless darkness.
"Red" of 1996 reveals his openness of today, and that secretive desolation and weariness in life: 'Red', 'Love by Stealth', 'Desperate man', 'Blamefully beautiful' all send hearts flying, avant-garde yet flowing with boundless shivering cold, glamour, obsession and melancholy... Though in "Count down with you" in 1999, the melody was simpler, his voice sluggish, but openly put gay life into the songs, with that ease, painful but honest - this boldness measures way up to the "Tat-Ming Group" if not even stronger.
With this freedom in spirit, returns of concert tours, weird costumes, all become feasible. During end 1996 world tour, many costumes and scenes shocked the audience, reddened their face and quickened their heartbeat, but Cheung couldn't care less, he disregarded other's judgments, because he has sacrifice enough, because he is now carefree.
He would like people to see today's Cheung, and he does what he wants. But seeing today's Cheung sends you worrying, watching him alone running unrepentantly towards that bloody nobody's land, watching him resisting the world with a radiant but arrogant smile, one can't help admiring him, one can't help worry for him. He is now fearless, if he can't be an ordinary man, why not just follow the heart, despite all the gossips and spying. However with all these and all that, he is definitely not totally free. Look at his eyes behind the cigarette' blue mist: painful, lonely, cool and bold, the melancholy saddens your heart.
There may be thousands of Chinese named Cheung Kwok Wing, but people subconsciously recognize only this guy who is also called Leslie or "master Wing" is Cheung Kwok Wing, all the others, only by coincidence.
Looking back at the first half of Gorgor's life, I can't help sighing, Cheung Kwok Wing, the name itself is a legend.
from www.weandwe.com
translated by Wing on September 2001 - comments by Wing and Nadia