From u962986@student.canberra.edu.auMon Apr 22 23:03:45 1996 Date: Mon, 22 Apr 1996 22:19:18 +1000 (EST) From: Ratbat To: Iggy Drougge Subject: A NUMBER OF THINGS TRANSFORMERS DON'T WANT OTHERS TO KNOW ABOUT THEM (fwd) Yes, I'm back, y'all... Hot on the heels of my gag list about intimidating your Decepticon opponent, the second in the 'things Urac wrote before she even knew about InterNet TF stuff' comes... THINGS TRANSFORMERS DON'T WANT OTHERS TO KNOW ABOUT THEM * Optimus Prime's MOT has expired. * Kup is actually only thirteen years old. * Arcee is a transvestite. * Unicron started life as a tiny meteor and had to work his way up the ranks. * Megatron doesn't know where to buy a new magazine for himself. * Frenzy's ultrasonic weapon consists of him shouting very loudly. * Perceptor wears contact lenses. * The Nebulans are planning a strike. * Blaster can't pick up FM. * Grimlock uses steroids. * Bumblebee is the best lay of any Transformers (?????) * The Wreckers get the dole. * The secret of gestalt technology is...sellotape. * The reason a strong-willed being can overcome Bombshell's cerebro-shells is that they don't work. * The Sharkticons have no dental plan. * Galvatron isn't from the future - he's from Wolverhampton. * In seventy years or so, when the human halves on the binary-bonded teams die of old age, everyone's *stuffed*. * A Transformer gets a pay bonus when they die. * So now, Optimus Prime is *rolling* in it. * Primus walks among us. He is disguised. And he bears the name...Chip. * The Terrorcons are looking for a refund after that 'Robots in Disguise' notion. * Fox Mulder once got into Ironhide, drove him halfway across the country, and didn't notice a thing... * The Creation Matrix doesn't work. * Thunderwing has a flower garden. * Thundercracker works on a system of extreme flatulence. * Slugfest is depressed because he's a C-60 and all the other cassettes are C-90s. * Bumblebee and Goldbug - never seen in the same place at the same time-- Oh, wait, there's a reason for that. * Optimus Prime gets kickbacks from Swindle. * Shockwave would give anything to be able to clap. * In his spare time Omega Supreme writes love poetry. * Grimlock really lost the position of Autobot leader because he swears and drinks. * Sparkplug uses Tracks to go cruising for prostitutes. * Kickback gets Optimus Primes from Swind-- No, sorry, got it wrong. * If Cliffjumper moves too fast, his arm falls off. * Metroplex gets soooo bored. * Broadside is yet to find a use for transforming into an aircraft carrier. * Hotspot feels incredibly inconspicuous being a bright blue fire engine, really he does. What d'you think, girls and boys, Cons and Bots? Urac 'Ratbat' Sigma, still doesn't understand why she forsook buying Snapdragon all those years ago... |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 'Normal is what everyone else is, and you are not.' | | - Dr Tolian Soran | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Urac 'Ratbat' Sigma, E-mail me on u962986@student.canberra.edu.au | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------|