1992 – BEIJING OPERA

The cast of "Farewell My Concubine" voiced out their opinions in the movie:

Talking about the butt beating scene when Dieyi and Xiaolou visiting their old opera school master, Chen Kaige said that the beating was real because he would prefer a real beating than a fake one. The effect would be better if the beating was real.

Later Leslie and Gong Li became good friends. Leslie teased Gong Li that he did not want to wash his face after Gong Li had spitted in his face in one of the scenes. She was moved by his sincerity and she started to treat Leslie as her friend. On friendship, Leslie heard that his friend, Danny Chan was in coma since May. He made several phone calls to Danny's mother in Hong Kong, enquiring about Danny's condition. Anita Mui was also worried about Danny. A Hong Kong reporter met Leslie in Beijing and their conversation focused mainly on Danny. Leslie said that Danny was a very nice guy. He was not a 'nosy' person and he would not gossip about others. However, he was always bored and lonely. He was always thinking too much and was too demanding on himself. Danny had always wanted to make a quality movie as he was addicted to movies and he loved to work. Leslie said, "I have both young and old friends and friends of my age like Anita Mui and Eliza Chan. We see each other often though I'm always busy with work and other social activities. I plan my time well and so I don't feel bored". On Danny Chan, Leslie said "We don't see each other very often but I do think of him once in a while".

Leslie did not mix with friends in the entertainment circle. Danny's circle of friends was even smaller and so he was lonelier. As Danny was in a coma because of an overdose of drugs, the reporter asked Leslie whether he had any difficulty in getting to sleep and whether he had to take any sleeping pills. Leslie replied in the negative as he could sleep easily and there was no necessity of taking any pills. He added that pills were not good for health.

A few months of shooting had passed and after the scene whereby Dieyi was deeply hurt after Xaiolou married Ju Xian, Chen Kaige and his cast went to the square outside the Imperial Palace for the next scene. It was shot in the night. This scene was about Dieyi who accidentally found the sword, which he had promised to give Xiaolou as a gift during their childhood. As he was bringing it to Xiaulou, he met the Japanese soldiers on the way. Leslie only had one shot in that scene. After the crew had fixed the lighting, Chen Kaige told Leslie to get into the rickshaw. The camera started to roll. The Japanese soldier raised the curtain with his knife. At that point, Leslie was sitting in the rickshaw with his makeup smeared, as there was a long bloody red mark near his mouth and his facial expression, which depicted desperateness, and great sorrows were excellent. Chen Kaige did not bother to comfort Leslie but signaled for the light to be turned off and just left Leslie to stay in the dark. It was at this point in time that he realized that Leslie should be the right person who could give all his heart and soul to play the role with such a high standard of performance. It was Leslie's facial expression with his eyes that fully depicted the themes of the story: obsession and betrayal.

The photographer of "Farewell my Concubine" was Gu Zhangwei. He liked long static close-ups and the actor had to move very well. One day, he shot Dieyi appearing on the stage which was viewed by many Japanese armies. Leslie looked pretty in Chinese opera costume.

One of Leslie's fans who lived in Beijing was very fortunate to have a small role in "Farewell My Concubine". This fan's eyes never left Leslie. He quietly sat aside before the shooting and he presented himself very well on stage. Everyone applauded for the good job and many fans then waited for Leslie's autographs. Leslie changed into a grey blue wool sweater matching his light coloured trousers. The Beijing fan stood very close to him. She could feel his 'light warm body temperature'. She did not ask him for any autograph as she was busy studying him. His profile was perfect. His eyes were so beautiful and there was no need to mention about his mouth. His skin looked very healthy and very sexy. Since she was so close to him, she thought of embracing Leslie. However, she wasn't brave enough to do that. Apparently they did exchange glances before he waved in acknowledgement and got into a car. She forgot whether she was smiling or without any facial expression but she kept telling herself after a few days, "He saw me! He saw me!"

Although she lost his signature on her way home, she had no regrets because the images of a 19-year-old girl and a 36-year old man were imbedded in a great movie. Almost every day there would be fans coming for his autographs and he never refused them. One day several fans came but they were afraid to ask for his autographs. They were lingering around for a long time. It was Leslie himself who took notice of them and he told them to come forward. He not only signed autographs but he also took pictures with them. They were very much overwhelmed.

Lei Han

A young Chinese actor by the name of Lei Han played the role of Cheng Dieyi's apprentice - Xiao Si. He said that he could not see a single trace of anxiety or reclusiveness in Leslie's character as he was close to being a perfect person. There was a scene in which Cheng Dieyi whipped Xiao Si - and when it was completed, Leslie immediately came to Lei Han to check whether he was hurt. Lei Han said that he had never met such a caring superstar. Lei Han further said that Leslie never avoided the topic on Mr. Tong and himself. Whenever he was asked, he was very open and spoke with genuine honesty. Whenever there were fans cornering him for autographs, Leslie would push Lei Han and Zhang Fengyi and some other actors to the front and remarked, "You guys should ask for theirs as they are all excellent actors in China". Lei Han was impressed with Leslie as there was no other actor who respected work as much as Leslie did. In another scene where Leslie played the role of the concubine on stage - the producers were using live recording soundtrack and his Mandarin was not excellent then. However Leslie sang it repeatedly. After a few takes, although Chen Kaige was satisfied with the end-result, Leslie was not.  Finally it took more than 30 takes that Leslie was finally satisfied and stepped down from the stage. In the rehearsals, Leslie was always prepared with a level of professionalism. He would rehearse with everybody and there was no feeling of superiority. Even with extras, Leslie never lost his temper. Instead, he would tell them how to do the scene and he earnestly cooperated with them. When Lei Han failed in a few attempts in a scene, Leslie would comfort him. He would demonstrate to Lei Han and until the scene was accomplished. Lei Han was very amazed that Leslie would never forget his script.

After this collaboration, Chen Kaige and Leslie felt that they had many similarities and they became good friends. Chen wanted all his films to be starred by Leslie. Leslie was very happy because Chen trusted him very much. They would work together again in the future. Leslie won the praise of everyone in the crew of "Farewell My Concubine". He returned to Hong Kong for the shooting of two comedy movies - "All's Well that Ends Well Too" and "Eagle Shooting Heroes".

Samuel Hui

In "All's Well that End's Well Too", Leslie met with Samuel Hui again. Sam Hui was inspired by Leslie to retire from showbiz. He thought it is a wonderful and precious idea and he followed Leslie's steps. Sam invited Leslie in his farewell show, which was broadcasted on TV. That night Leslie walked up to Sam. He said to Sam, "Hey! You are really shimmering! Why? Why are you so shimmering tonight?"

Sam answered him, "When one is older and has a dirty mind, you have to dress flashier!" Leslie laughed backing away, looked very cute. He said heartily, "It has been the highlight of my music career to have had the chance to work with Sam. And also I considered it a very joyful time. It is really so much fun to sing with him. In the recording studio, Sam and I have very different approaches to singing. Sam is very dedicated and will sing the song over and over again. While I am very impatient, after about 3 times I will be frustrated. That is why Sam will always be more successful than I am because of his dedication."

Sam said, "No, No! It is because Leslie is a much more capable singer and therefore, only needs to record the song once for it to be perfect." Leslie said, "I think tonight everyone watching or perfoming in this program should be very happy. Sam has been very successful in the film and recording industry, and we, your friends and admires support whatever decision you make. And wish you much luck on your future path in life!" "Thank you, thank you Leslie!" Sam replied. "As for the rest of tonight?" Leslie took Sam's hand and led him to the stage, "Sam, you really have not sang many duets with male singers. Some friends have read in the newspaper that you and I will be singing together tonight". Sam talking to the audience "Do you think that? Is it a good idea? What do you think?" Then he talked to Leslie again, "The best thing would be to encourage you to sing with me? Ask you to sing..." Leslie said, "If you ask, I will definitely sing!" Sam replied, "Really? Sing? We all got our wish", referring to himself and the audience.

Leslie said, "My perfoming tonight is very personal. Sam is my favorite celebrity. So tonight I will have to 'open mouth'". During the show "Auld Lane Sync" was played, Leslie had tears in his eyes, although he didn't like Florence Chan played it at his farewell concert.

Leslie was invited to a Christmas party by Rosamund Kwan who also starred in "All's Well that End's Well Too". He asked his new friends from Mainland China; director Chen Kai Ge and Gong Li to the party. They met Jackie Chan also and took several photos together.

Cheng Kaige would never forget this film - "As a director, "Farewell My Concubine" was the only film that I had ever made with strong emotions. I couldn't get myself out of it after completion of the film. I felt miserable and I dreamt of Leslie one night. He was wearing the costume of Dieyi - looking at me with the same familiar smiling eyes. He said, "I'm saying goodbye to you forever"." Chen Kaige woke up suddenly and found his eyes were wet and he couldn't tell whether he was Dieyi or Leslie...

1993 - GOLDEN PALM

On 1 January 1993 "Farewell My Concubine" was premiered in Hong Kong. The film collected more than HK$ five millions in a few days time. At the ocasion John Dykes from South China Morning Post interviewed director Chen Kaige. Chen was afraid that the conservative Chinese government officials would ban the film in Mainland China as his previous film “Life on String” was banned in Mainland China. However, the Chinese censorship board finally allowed the film to be screened in China with substantial censoring. Due to the intervention of some open-minded party leaders; China's Ministry of Radio, Film and Television gave approval for screening of the film, which was expected to make at least HK$ 40 millions at the box office in China. Leslie Cheung was deeply moved to tears when he saw the film. He was the first Hong Kong actor to act in a Mainland China film. When he was asked to comment on the controversy, Leslie replied "Everything in life is predestined."

"All's Well, End's Well Too" directed by Clifton Ko was also released. Leslie with his gentle and handsome look played the role of magician David Copper Feel (the parody of David Copperfield). This was a comedy film and a parody of modern life and the cast wore ancient costumes. The cast of this film comprised of several great comedy actors of Hong Kong - Samuel Hui and his brother Ricky Hui, Sandra Ng, Raymond Wong (also producer of the film), Ng Man Tat, Teresa Mo and the pretty actress Rosamund Kwan.

Moving to another shooting location on Dong Cheng Xi Jiu ("Eagle Shooting Heroes"), it was reported that Leslie Cheung taught Brigitte Lin how to play a sexy role. One day Stephen Chow visited Leslie and Brigitte at the shooting location. Brigitte Lin felt compelled to shoot this film. In her mind she never accepted to play any role in this film. At the beginning Wong Kar Wai approached her and told that he would cast her and Joey Wong as the legend swordsmen from Louis Cha’s novel of "West Poison and East Devil" - "Legend of the Condor Heroes". Wong Kar Wai told her a very interesting story. After some time Wong approached her again saying that because of the success of "Days of Being Wild" he now had something else in mind. Again she was told of another wonderful story and this time it was with a bigger cast including Leslie Cheung, Maggie Cheung and two Tony Leung. She accepted the offer and waited for a long time to shoot her part though she knew that Leslie and Joey Wong had started filming for some time. Suddenly one day she was told that the film had to make way for a Chinese New Year movie which would be directed by Jeff Lau and the whole cast was asked to film for this Chinese New Year movie. Brigitte said she was not good acting in comedy movie especially in those crazy comedies and she told her worries to Leslie. Leslie asked her to relax for that kind of film did not have any script. That day she did a scene shot inside a cave. The director Jeff Lau told her that there were lots of monsters, chickens and ducks in the cave and that she was pregnant. On hearing this, Brigitte was very shocked and asked Leslie how and what she was supposed to do. Leslie said with a sigh, "Just do it!" She then told Joey Wong again that she was asked to play a pregnant woman with a duck. Seeing that Brigitte was so worried, Jeff Lau could not help laughing and said, "It was just a joke, don't be too serious."

Leslie visited Korea to promote his film "All's Well End's Well". On hearing that Leslie would be interviewed on a broadcasting station, thousands of fans gathered in front of the station. In view of the huge crowd, the interview was cancelled in order to avoid any untoward incident. During his stay in Korea, Leslie received lots of compliments from the media for his pleasant manner and good personality. Furthermore, the press and the public described him as the "Noble Prince or Gentleman of Hong Kong". Leslie had once said that he considered France to be the most remarkable country and the Koreans were his most unforgettable overseas fans. The enthusiasm of the Korean fans was beyond his imagination. On the other hand, he was both excited and frightened by their responses.

On 20 January 1993, "All's Well End's Well Too" was screened for the first time followed by Dong Cheng Xi Jiu on 5 February 1993. These two films were no.1 and no. 3 at the box office list. At this time Leslie was in Canada to celebrate Chinese New Year there. Leslie flew first class on a Cathay Pacific flight to Canada. Stewardesses whispered with admiration, "Oh, how handsome!" Leslie pretended that he didn't know whom they were referring to, then looked around and asked, "Where? Where?" He was indeed very cute! Since there were lots of vacant seats in the first class, he changed seats from time to time: just like a naughty kid when his mum was not around. He only ate strawberries on the flight. In addition, he did push-ups in the cabin when he was bored which was unbecoming of a superstar behaving like a child but adorable!

Visit Danny

One day, Reporter Cha Siu Yan met Leslie after he returned to Hong Kong. He looked energetic. "I spent the Chinese New Year in Canada, just came back yesterday", said Leslie. Danny Chan had been hospitalized for 10 months since he went into coma and Leslie didn't pay any visit to Danny Chan. So Cha Siu Yan told him that he was unaffectionate and this was not acceptable since they signed their respective contract with the same agent. There were speculations about their relationship as all along there were rumours that they were not getting along well. Leslie told her that he had reasons. He accepted Cha's points and then decided to visit Danny on one condition that there would be no reporters and they went in the evening. Cha Siu Yan brought a bunch of flowers and showed him the flowers. She said, "I know you would forget the flowers and therefore I bought them for you"”. Leslie thanked her. Later when they went upstairs the nurse took Cha's flowers and thanked her. Then the nurse turned to Leslie and said, "Thank you for your flowers, Mr. Cheung. They are beautiful". Cha found out that she was wrong as Leslie had already asked someone to send the flowers. He was getting more and more subtle these days.

Leslie stared at Danny's face, almost without any expression. He leaned forward, very close to Danny's face. Cha whispered in Danny's ears, "Danny, Leslie's here". Leslie looked at Danny for a long time without a word. He took a look at the machine by his side and asked, "Do you think he can hear me?" "It’s hard to tell", the nurse replied. He turned around and told Cha, "I’m going to talk to him. Let me know if there is any response" "Danny, Danny, Danny, this is Leslie!" There was no response. His heartbeat was still at 94, no change. Leslie asked Cha, "The news said his legs and arms get atrophied, is it true?" She showed him Danny's hand, "Of course not". "Is he putting on weight?" "Yes" the nurse replied. "You have to keep fit when you get up," Leslie was joking with Danny. Cha knew he was trying to ease the atmosphere. He asked the nurse again, "Will he become very fat?" He seemed to be very concerned about his weight. The nurse replied, "No, because we have a dietician to watch his diet". After some time Leslie said he had to go and said goodbye to Danny. He and Cha Siu Yan waited for the lift at the lobby. Leslie didn't say anything. Cha noticed he was rubbing his fingers, looking nervous and uncomfortable. After a long pause he said, "I am sad to see him in such condition!" He repeated again, "Really sad! Why is he hurting himself? If you don’t love yourself who is going to love you? He always felt unhappy. I talked to him many times but he didn't listen".

There was a long silence. He still looked very uneasy. Looking at the gloomy sky he said, "I hope we can see the sun very soon, such a boring day!" His words seemed to have a double meaning. When Cha peeped through his sunglasses, she saw his eyes were red. "Do you want to cry?" "No, I just feel very sad. I have seen so many 'parted for ever' these years, too many." "How long have you known Danny?" "15 years, he was the male lead in "Encore", mine was just a minor role". Cha recalled, these three good-looking young men: Leslie, Danny and Paul all were under the same manager. Fifteen years later, there only remained Leslie living happily and enjoying his life. Cha sighed. Leslie and Danny had different characters. The former was tough and optimistic while the latter was fragile and sensitive. "Yes, I am tough", Leslie admitted. "Why don't you come to see Danny earlier?" "I can't. Last year was the Year of the Monkey and those who are born under this sign should not visit the sick in hospitals. I'll come soon after the New Year", he said. He heard this bad news in Beijing while he was shooting the movie "Farewell to My Concubine". He was not supposed to pay any hospital or funeral visits or attend any celebratory occasions because he had provoked 'Tai Shui'. According to the Chinese Book of Fortune, Monkey people would offend the King of Monkey in the Year of the Monkey. They would have a very volatile year. So they had to be very careful and to keep bad luck at bay, there were certain things that they should avoid e.g. attending funerals, visiting people in hospital etc. Leslie had his waist wrapped around with a red strap to avoid 'Tai Shui'. Cha Siu Yan blamed herself for being so nosy and felt uncomfortable upon learning Leslie's reasons. She told him that there were speculations of him not visiting Danny at the hospital. He seemed a bit agitated and said, "These people are terrible. Why do they always gossip about others?" Before he left he asked her, "I have to pay for the flowers, how much is it?" How could Cha take his money! But he insisted on inviting her to tea instead. From this small clue, we could see his working style.

When the Cathay Pacific stewardess met Leslie again for the second time on another flight, Leslie behaved differently this time. He was shedding tears silently in his seat. When the stewardess approached him and asked him whether he needed any help, he politely said no. Indeed Leslie was a very kind person with a sensitive heart and could be moved to tears quite easily.

Bride with White Hair

Leslie was torn between "Wing Ko Film Company" (Regal) and "Mandarin Film Co" and probably he would sign contract with foreign artist management company. Mandarin Film Co. prepared big budget for "The Bride with White Hair" - the film which involved beautiful people, beautiful costume and a beautiful love story. "The Bride with White Hair" was adapted from Liang Yu Sheng's book. The director was Ronny Yu who had directed an American film "China White". He made the characters in the film different from the one depicted in the book because he wanted to make it more modern. It was for this reason that Ronny went to Australia to meet the author who is an 80-year old man. Liang Yu Sheng said, "OK… go…whatever". Ronny was so excited, he thanked Liang very much and when the old author shut the door he said to Ronny, "Mr. Yu?… Don't embarrass me."

Ronny changed a lot of things - the Siamese twins and the bad character of the film was his idea. Ronny was with the scriptwriters and he was trying to avoid getting those typically boring bad guys. He wanted something new, something more surreal. The Discovery Channel was on TV and at the end of the programme, there was a report about Siamese babies and he said, "What if the bad guys are Siamese twins?" Everybody looked at Ronny and thought he was crazy! "How are you going to shoot this?" they asked, we couldn't afford CGI. "The problem will be solved" Ronny said. The concept was interesting: Siamese twins, one male, one female, and what about their sexual desire! What if one of them was sexually aroused? Ronny laughed. Nobody thought of that in Hong Kong movies! It made Ronny excited.

Ronny Yu said when Wong Pak Ming told him the story; he had a strong visualization of Brigitte Lin dressed up in bridal attire with her hair turning completely white during the night. He believed this image would stirred up the curiosity of a western audience to watch a girl standing on a high hill in a bride's costume with her hair turning white within a night. Ronny knew Brigitte for many years. When he got the script he said to her, "Brigitte, this is a role tailor-made for you, you have got to do this!" The leading role was Brigitte Lin. As for the leading actor, Ronny Yu's first thought was to give this role to Leslie Cheung. He said Leslie came to mind at once. It was like the role was created for him. He said that he knew Leslie since the very beginning of their careers. The producer was not keen on Leslie; they wanted a 'kung-fu' actor. Ronny said that kung fu actor like Yuen Piao would not have any sensitive feeling, the beauty, and the glamour - qualities needed by the character. "I need a good actor, not a good fighter. Stunt-man can provide the illusion that an actor is a great fighter, but a stunt man can't give the illusion that an actor can act well. It doesn't matter, as long as he's a good actor, I can use stunt doubles to make him look realistic. It had to be Leslie Cheung, rebellious, almost a James Dean-like character."

It was the second collaboration between Leslie and scriptwriter Lin Ji Tao who wrote the script together with Ronny Yu, Teng Pi Yen and David Wu. In Lin's eyes, "The Bride with White Hair" was virtually a western production. Lin Ji Tao was quite confident that westerners would like the movie when he knew that the movie featured Leslie and Brigitte. He said to Leslie, "Hey! You're going to play someone that's never been played before, a James Dean in Chinese ancient costume." Leslie responded, "Oh, I know what you want to say." Lin added, "This is the Chinese version of 'Romeo and Juliet'." He said, "OK, I catch something." "And a Chinese version of 'Blue Soldier', this time it is the Mongolians as the Indians, and the Central people as the whites."

"The Bride With White Hair" only needed two months in the making process with a big budget of HK$40 millions. The classic costumes were designed by Japanese designer, Emi Wada (an Academy Award winner in a film which directed by Akira Kurosawa) and cameraman Peter Pau (he later won an Academy Award in "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon"). When Brigitte Lin put on her costume, Leslie could not help praising her, "Che Che (big sister), your beauty is beyond comparison". And Brigitte also admired Leslie in the classical costume, and reciprocated, "You're also a stunningly beautiful Gor Gor (big brother)." Since that day, the entire crew called them Gor Gor and Che Che. Even now many people referred to Leslie as Gor Gor. In this film, Leslie and Brigitte had a steamy, hot scene whereby Leslie buried his face in Brigitte's bosom. Brigitte Lin, a leading Mandarin actress of three decades said she only wanted to do this kind of scene with Leslie whom she trusted most and not with other actors like Chow Yun Fat or Tony Leung. This was her most erotic and sensuous scene of her entire career. In this film Leslie made a soundtrack and lyricist Lam Chik gave the song title Ie Sheng Chui Ai ("The Most Beloved in This Life"). Leslie and Brigitte's roles were in fact sexually transposed, resulting in a soft Leslie and a firm Brigitte. There is also a pair of androgenic Siamese twins in the film, implying deranged sex in a deranged world.

"Leslie Cheung was a rare breed of performer," writes 'Life' reporter, Winnie Chung. She had met Leslie on many occasions over the past decade mostly for work but also on the occasional odd night out at Central nightspots with mutual friends. Winnie visited Leslie on the "Bride With White Hair" shooting location. All impressions about Leslie were dancing in her mind especially that he was always proud of the way he looked. One of his frequent questions while twirling around in some new outfits would be "Doesn't this look nice on me?" Leslie has always admitted to being narcissistic. It is one of the reasons why Winnie's first interview with him, sitting in a Chinese restaurant in Malaysia with Anita Mui in 1987, had always been stuck in her mind. "I'm a narcissist," he had purred. "I love the way I look and perform." He was already on the fast track up the pop star chart then - one of the few who was just known by a first name. Unlike all the other Canto-pop singers who played it safe with boring, politically correct comments, Leslie was refreshingly honest. In a sense, this was what brought him his biggest headaches in the business. Unable to deal with his frankness, the press labelled him as arrogant and pitted him against rival Alan Tam. The comparisons did not please Leslie. In subsequent interviews and meetings with Leslie, he wavered between trying to be politically correct to win approval and being unable to hold back from voicing out his honest opinions. You could almost see him being torn apart. His narcissistic nature craved the public adulation and the limelight. Yet he also hated the strings that came with the fame, the criticism and the invasion of his privacy.

On one cold night Winnie was sitting in a lonely dressing room with Leslie on the set of "The Bride With White Hair". In an unusually frank chat, Leslie was busy gossiping about an actress they both didn't like. "Oh, she's such a … ," he said then, laughing with a carefree air that Winnie had never seen in him before. Since then, every time Winnie met him, he was more and more open as he became comfortable with himself, with little to lose in the battle for popular opinion.

Ronny Yu was of the opinion that working with Leslie Cheung as well as working with Chow Yun Fat was a great opportunity. All the time Ronny was with Leslie, he felt that Leslie was the one who was always optimistic. He was calm, always supportive and was very generous. Leslie always came several hours earlier than the scheduled time for discussion with Ronny Yu. For Ronny, the shooting process of "The Bride With White Hair" was very difficult. Suddenly one night a green grenade similar to those used by fishermen to catch fishes exploded in a shooting location but luckily no one was hurt. However everybody was shocked and afraid for it was possibly the work of the Hong Kong mafia again. During filming, it rained often and interrupted the shooing process. The crew had to turn on the dry-ice machine to give an eeriness effect; this was not easy at all. All crew worked wholeheartedly. Peter Pau often helped Ronny to lead the shooting process in different locations.

Lin Ji Tao would like to share his experience of knowing Leslie personally. First of all, he would say that the Leslie's roles we knew were not the Leslie in real life. Rather, they were all his roles on screen. Even Lin said that he did not know a complete Leslie. "Definitely not", he said "What I could let you know is the Leslie I saw on the shooting site. I can also tell you that Leslie in real life is more diversified than on screen." In Lin's eyes Leslie has excellent work attitude and he called him "A Little Prince" on the set. "When you see him on the set, you'll find him to be a totally different person in front of the camera and behind the camera. He can be a frail scholar (in 'A Chinese Ghost Story') or a hero (in 'The Bride With White Hair') in front of the camera. However in person, he was indeed a little prince - a very cute prince. Why do I use the word 'prince' for him? It's because I find him dignified and elitist, while at the same time he could be a naughty boy. He could play with anybody, sometimes over the limits and everyone gave in to him, not for his idol status, but that we felt relaxed with him. He was totally different off the screen and this was the loveliest part about him. He was very clear that there were two spaces for him - one in sight and sound, where his performance was an image and a brand, the other in his true life. My feeling is that he didn't like to expose his true self too much so I am sure that actually people don't know much about his real life."

46^th Cannes Film Festival

A newspaper wrote about Leslie Cheung making a big-time comeback in Hong Kong Cinema.

That silky voice may be the same one that made him the King of Canto-pop, but the former pin-up Leslie Cheung Kwok Wing is singing a radically different tune this day. Gone are the flamboyant stage costumes and attendant hordes of the late 1980s, and in their place are a quiet lifestyle allied to a newfound movie career, which Leslie loves with a passion. “This is the real me,” insisted the boyish-looking thirty something in a rare interview since his abrupt departure from the pop scene, and Hong Kong, three years ago. "I am more relaxed. I don't really want the pop idol image - I've done it before. You have to let go. I want to keep a low profile," he said, adding: "I am very much a serious actor."

If there were any doubts about that before, this week confirmed it. His most recent film, "Farewell to My Concubine", was submitted for nomination at the Cannes International Film Festival this week. Change was something Leslie seemed to attract. He shed personae the way a snake sheds its skins. In fact, the ability to take on new roles was exactly what kept him coming back for more where acting was concerned. He happily turned his back on his singing for a change on the silver screen.

"It (acting) is fascinating," he said, his voice changing, an almost childlike awe creeping in. "Every time you do a film it is like you live another life." The fact that he has found his true art, though, does not mean he only accepts every offer that comes his way. Fussy as a feline, Leslie picks and chooses his way through scripts, looking for just the right product.

He considered himself a serious artist and wanted to be seen as such. "My acting career is a bonus because I was planning to retire," he said. "But now, I don't think I'm going to retire. I will just hang out and do whatever I like. Pick the right scripts. Maybe I will do three movies consecutively or travel around and then do one movie in a year. It doesn't really matter that much to me materially." Expressing a surprising and impassioned contempt for the Hong Kong film industry, which he considered too formulaic and commercial, Leslie was careful to select the right directors with whom to work. After "The Bride with White Hair", he was currently shooting a film with director Wong Kar Wai, and his respect was obvious. After the success of "Days of Being Wild" in the film festival, Leslie already had an established rapport with the director and was happy to work with him again. "Wong is an excellent director, the best in Hong Kong, and very un-commercial," he said. With a sly smile and a catch in his voice, he described his role in the new film, tentatively titled East vs. West. "I play a very..." he paused for dramatic effect, "wicked person."

While his days of being wild appeared to have been exchanged for more serious times, Leslie had no qualms about the way he wanted his life, and career, to go. "I think I can do movies more successfully than singing. I think I can do a lot better in movies," he said. And the scary thing was that he didn't do badly in music at all.

At the 46th Cannes International Film Festival that week, "Farewell My Concubine" was in the nomination with 17 other selected films from the entire world including "Much Ado About Nothing" from England and "Falling Down" from U.S.A. Chen Kaige's epic that spans over 70 years, stands a good chance of laying claim to one of the top prizes, if not the Grand Prize, the Palme D'Or, itself. "Beautiful Lady" Leslie Cheung impressed the jurors at the Cannes Festival. One juror even voted Leslie for two categories: best actor and best actress.

With so much attention focused on "Farewell My Concubine", and Chinese cinema in general (a record of three Chinese films which were in circulation at Cannes this year), 1993 was the year of the rising of Chinese cinemas internationally. Like other important film persons, the American famous film columnist Richard Corliss was at Cannes. He and his wife Mary started to know Leslie a little, and had been in his trail before they met him. At the 1993 Cannes Film Festival they saw "The Bride With White Hair" and "Farewell My Concubine". The first was martial-arts fantasy, the second historical epic: The Sunshine Boys reconfigured as tragedy spanning a half-century of Chinese heartbreak. To see an actor in his role as the world-weary swordsman in love with a wolf woman (Brigitte Lin) and homosexual masochist in love with his stolid partner (Zhang Fengyi) was a revelation. Returning to New York, Mr. Corliss rented as many Leslie Cheung movies as he could find at Kim's Video, and that spurred him onto the colony's burgeoning filmography. As much as anyone, Leslie hooked him on Hong Kong movies.

The barometer of world cinematography as well as the most prestigious film festival in the world, the Cannes Film Festival, chose "Farewell My Concubine" and "The Piano" by Jane Champion from New Zealand as the best films. Leslie went to Cannes together with Chen Kaige, Zhang Feng Yi, Gong Li and producer Hsu Feng. The five of them were overjoyed since they never expected that their film would win the top award. They hugged each other happily. Many films in the Chinese Language received prestigious awards that year, among them were "The Wedding Banquet" directed by Taiwanese Ang Lee, and "Blue Kite" directed by Tsai Ming Liang from Mainland China, which shared the highest award in Berlin Film Festival, but "Farewell My Concubine" was the most notable among all Chinese films and it captured the global media. A hotal waiter saw the Golden Palm in Chen Kaige's hotel room. "Oh, you won it, congratulation," he shouted.

Leslie did not want to be involved in politics and he could be considered blind to political issues before he was involved in "Farewell My Concubine"”. In his tour to promote that film in Mainland China, he felt the political treatment from the government. When the film was screened in Shanghai, the Chinese government briefed the reporters: "You may interview Leslie Cheung, but don't ask anything about "Farewell"." When Leslie and Chen Kaige's group arrived at Beijing airport after winning the award in Cannes, there was nobody to welcome them at the airport. Tickets were not allowed to be sold for the premiere. Old friends of Chen Kaige sold tickets by the roadside. Perhaps Leslie would return to Beijing in June to join Chen in the making of "Shadow of a Flower" (temporary title). "Farewell My Concubine" was in the top ten box office films when it premiered in France, Belgium, Netherlands and Switzerland. In the U.S.A. it was within the top 50 box office films when it was screened in more than 70 theatres there.

Ashes of Time

Leslie returned to Mainland China to work with Wong Kar Wai on "Ashes of Time", a political allegory which would probably draw its own fire from Chinese Authorities. Leslie was asked to play the character of "Devil East" when he was first approached by Wong Kar Wai and had been shooting on this part for 30 days in Hong Kong. Later the whole cast went to Xian Xi for location shooting because of the beautiful scenery. Then one day in Xian Xi, Wong told Leslie, "I want you to be "Poison West". I thought the key character of this film should be "Poison West"." As a result all the footage of the 30 days' shooting in Hong Kong was wasted except for the opening scene. As Wong had spent HK$ 1.5 million making the opening scene, he did not want to waste it. He then tried to think of a way to make up the mistake. Wong was a very good scriptwriter and therefore he could easily switch his ideas and rewrite the story. So in the end we were told that "Poison West" was so depressed and sad after losing his lover that he burnt his inn. He shaved and decided to have a comeback. Then the story made sense. Leslie noticed all of this and he said as an actor he found it very difficult to cope with Wong Kar Wai as he changed his mind all the time. He would not give the actor a script and on the day of shooting they would be given a sheet of paper. The actor should do according to what was written on the paper. Leslie said actors often has highs and lows in their performances for example when the story reaches its climax, it would be the high point of his performance and therefore he would exert more energy but working with Wong Ka Wai, it was difficult to gauge the climax of the film because no one knew what he had in mind at any given time.

Portraying an agent for a contract killer in the kung fu costume drama represented a radical departure for Leslie from his last on-screen persona: that of Cheng Dieyi, the effeminate Peking opera singer in love with his stage partner in "Farewell to My Concubine". It was a measure of Leslie's new-found status that he had been given a lead billing in Wong's film ahead of co-stars like Tony Leung Chiu Wai, current Canto-pop idol Jacky Cheung, Carina Lau and Brigitte Lin.

Leslie insisted that he did not bother with whatever role which was offered to him as long as the script was good. It was the script which attracted him to the "Farewell My Concubine" project; and the chance to work with one of China's leading directors and cinematographers was too good to be passed up.

"It was a very rare opportunity for a Hong Kong person to work with the top guys in China," he said. "Hopefully, there will be more cases. I think Hong Kong movies are going down the drain. They are too commercial. I hate them. But this script was excellent and I thought it would be a good idea to work with them. After all, '97 is drawing near," he said.

Scarlet Cheng, managing editor of Asian Art News, wrote a report of "Ashes of Time". She commenced her writing with this sentence: "Art is long, but film-making is brief. Especially in Hong Kong, where intense commercialism forces pictures to be shot and delivered at dizzying speeds such as last year's Tsui Hark hit "Once Upon a Time in China II" which was reputedly wrapped-up in a month. This leaves little room for 'art film' directors, but Wong Kar Wai, whose "Days of Being Wild" (1990) which was a cult favourite, was going strong albeit staggering from the weight of his latest, most ambitious enterprise, "Dong Xie Xi Du" (Evil in the East, Poison in the West). Behind schedule and over budget, Wong had been shooting in Yu Lin, a beautiful, remote region of Shan Xi province. Production staff from Hong Kong began arriving two months ago. Thanks to Wong's continuous revisions of story and script, segments shot earlier in the year were unusable. "What's this story about?" was a frequent question. Few know, and they are not telling. When asked, production manager Chen Pwei Hwa smiled. Basically, the movie seemed to be a martial arts film with a psychological bent with Wang shooting the dramatic segments and veteran Samo Hung Kam Bo handling the blood-spurting action stuff.

To complete the principal photography, superstars Brigitte Lin, Leslie Cheung and both Tony Leungs ~ Kar Fai and Chiu Wai ~ were flown in at the beginning of the month. They arrived unsure of what characters they were portraying or how their stories linked. Art director William Cheung said simply: "It's a story about love; different kind of love." Hmm… not healthy love, as everybody in the film wants to be someone else. Lin, for instance, plays a schizophrenic who thinks she is also her brother. She wants to kill him because he is insanely possessive, while he wants to kill her lover. It's quite confusing.

Neither does it help that, in the usual Hong Kong fashion, she and the other actors got their script for the day just before they go before the camera. It was Monday, and we arrived at a series of caves dug into the cliff of a river gorge. Inside one small chamber of yellow stone, 20 to 30 people were squeezed during shooting, half of them were smoking. Shooting synchronization sounded and doing take after take; the atmosphere became stifling and tense. "Quiet!"

On the set, dressed in T-shirt and jeans, Wong was tall, lanky and slow in speech. True to his reputation and to the art of the cinema, Wong got his ideas as he was shooting, changing camera movements and angles and constantly adjusting the actors's reactions and presentation. Compared with other Hong Kong directors, he was rather slow. Furthermore, he was writing as he went along shooting, sometimes rewriting scenes of the day before to be re-shot for the day; a director's dream but an actor's nightmare. Leslie Cheung was depressed as a month of previous shooting had been thrown out of the window. "We should buy up the discarded footage," Brigitte joked, "and cut another film with it."

The film, from watching the video recording of the takes and the still shots by the staff photographer, looked good. "Days of Being Wild" looked good too, but suffered from a meandering storyline. Some of the confusion was supposed to be explained in a sequel, but Wong shot so much and so long that he ran out of money to make it. On Tuesday, the cast and crew went to an abandoned mud settlement, built on a small hill in the desert. Leslie and Tony Leung Kar Fai were shooting a scene at the lookout post, but the cold drizzle which started in the afternoon was getting worse. Kar Fai had a skin rash brought on by cold rain, and became so miserable that the shooting had to stop. In the car, Leslie, Leung Kar Fai and Brigitte were commiserating with each other on working under round-the-clock conditions, then having to re-shoot perfectly good scenes when the director decided to rewrite.

"They had better finish shooting my scenes before I leave," says Leung Kar Fai, who was making 15 to 16 movies in this year. "I really don't have any more time."

On Wednesday, it rained so hard that the shooting was halted; roads leading to the sites had been washed out. Finally in the afternoon, the rain stopped and the roads were clear again. That night, the team was still at the caves until 3 am, and no one knew how much longer the shooting would last. Suddenly, Leslie was stung in the neck by a scorpion. Shooting came to anabrupt halt as the actor was rushed back to the town clinic. They managed to wake up a local doctor who told them, to their astonishment that "we don't have a treatment for this". The actor survived a sleepless night. "I knew it wasn't a poisonous scorpion," someone said. Later, at a river dam, Leslie sighed and said: "The Hong Kong movie business! Three days of this kind of schedule destroys three months of rest!"

Although Lin and Leung Kar Fai were making a dozen-plus film each that year, Leslie was concentrating on a handful and planned a holiday in Italy. Next year he would perhaps make one film ~ he hinted at an American project. Lin remained a trooper, but wondered about her role. Dressed up as the brother and sitting on the banks of the river, she dutifully repeated her lines to Leslie, who was playing a mercenary: "I want you to kill someone for me ..."

Wong and cinematographer Chris Doyle, who did the mesmerizing photography for "Days of Being Wild", were not satisfied with a few takes ~ and each scene was taken from multiple angles. In between takes Brigitte asked: "What do these lines mean, anyway? Why am I saying these things?" No one answered her. While walking around, Wong was intrigued by the falls at a further distance and he decides that Brigitte should do a mad scene atop the rocks in the midst of rushing waters - Lin agreed to this impromptu scene. It was sunset, night was quickly falling, and they set up the giant spotlight. A human chain guided Brigitte to the rock where, in the midst of the roaring water, she stood, hair disheveled, hailing her arms about and shouting. Afterwards, she says: "That was rather dangerous, wasn't it?" The next day, she asked for an assurance from Wong that the scene would be used in another manner somehow.

There was more and more work with very brief rest periods until Sunday. The most difficult part for Brigitte had been kept to the last, a dramatic scene with Leslie ~ and after 15 takes, Wong called out to her: "Can we get something more for the eyes?" Lin was aggravated. The irony was, despite her exhaustion ~ perhaps because of it ~ her character's edgy paranoia was palpable. A hush fell over the crew who were watching the scene as it was so intensely real.

Location shooting was scheduled to wrap up at the end of the week. Once Dong Xie Xi Du is completed, it would be a unique movie as there was no other martial arts film made before it. Whether it would make sense was another question.

26 August 1993 was the first premiere of "The Bride With White Hair". The film was at the peak of the box office at that time, but the result was quite disappointing. The movie had a Best Movie award at an European Sci-Fi Film Festival. "The Bride With White Hair" which was nominated at a lot of festivals got recognition, Ronny Yu received many offers from Hollywood: producers, agents and lawyers.

Leslie and Teresa Mo were very good friends. Teresa said she was fortunate to have Leslie as her friend. Leslie seemed to be very pleased on hearing this. He said, "I am the one who could best understand her feelings." The reporter asked Leslie what he would do in his leisure time. He said he loved to play mahjong. "I am just an ordinary guy. Some artists are afraid of taking pictures while they're smoking or don't want others to know that they play mahjong. Why not? I'm not afraid at all. My bet is very small and my partners are a few close friends. Teresa is one of them. I’m not pretending to be high class. Mahjong is the quintessence of China."

Leslie was pickier in making commercials than movies. He said someone from Mainland China invited him to make a TV commercial to promote a soft drink. He said he needed to be convinced that the product was good as he was going to recommend it to others. He could ask for a high fee but what if someone was willing to pay then he had to do it. So, before making a deal he had to satisfy himself first that the product was a good one. "Right, if he doesn't like it how can he recommend it to others? Wasn't it cheating?" the reporter remarked.

Leslie Cheung wanted very much to play a blind man, he also claimed that he was too old to attend social gathering. Wong Kar Wai approached Leslie to play in his new project "Chung King Express", although he had not finished "Ashes of Time" at that time. "Do you want to co-star with Faye Wong?" Faye Wong was a new singer who was very popular with her cold attitude. Leslie answered Wong, "Can she act?" Leslie couldn't fulfill Wong's expectation since he had signed two other movie contracts: UFO's "He'a a Woman She's a Man" and Win's "Long and Winding Road". Then Wong Kar Wai approached Tony Leung Chiu Wai to act in that film.

Serve as a Juror in Tokyo International Film Festival

The Sixth Tokyo International Film Festival was held from 24 September to 3 October 1993. Leslie was chosen as a juror for "Young Cinema Competition" which was chaired by German renowned director Wim Wenders. The other pride for Leslie was he was considered competent enough to work together with Wenders and 3 other filmmakers to choose the best 13 films from a total selection of 234 films representing 43 countries. A reporter from Indonesia, Tony Ryanto, interviewed him. In Tony's eyes Leslie Cheung was also a Canto-pop singer who had held some extremely successful concerts in Hong Kong. And for Tony, it should be a big prestige for Hong Kong because one of its stars could have a chance to work as a juror in an international film festival. Leslie didn’t refuse when Tony asked him for his signature for Indonesian readers. In the interview Leslie said he was very proud because a Chinese film, “The Blue Kite” won the highest award of the festival. Tony was impressed since Leslie had always answered his questions with excellent English. Tony said to Leslie that his films: "A Better Tomorrow" and "A Chinese Ghost Story" were very popular in Indonesia. To Tony, Leslie said that he wanted to visit Indonesia if he had a chance. Tony was more impressed with Leslie when the superstar willingly helped him to be an interpreter when the reporter could not speak Mandarin and had difficulties when interviewing some teenage actors from Hong Kong and Taiwan who couldn't speak English. Leslie spontaneously offered help to Tony. The one whom Tony most wanted to interview with was a young Taiwanese actor who won Bronze Award Young Cinema competition. How many superstars in this world would want to do such thing? Thanks to Leslie who made his task run smoothly.

Danny Chan passed away on 25 October 1993. He would be missed by his fans and friends. Paul Chung plunged to his death from his residence killing himself in 1989. Their friends said that at least they still had Leslie.

In an interview, Leslie said that he was far from being called as a legend. He was being queried why he didn't consider himself a legend when he was complimented by many people that he was already a superstar then. He said that he was happier when he retired from his singing career because he had no mental burden; the nuance of his heart was bright and the most important thing was that he had enough rest time. Leslie also felt that he was fortunate enough because three of his films namely "A Chinese Ghost Story", "Rouge" and "Farewell My Concubine" had entered into the European and American film markets. Leslie thanked God for this good result. Leslie said that there were many actors who were better than him but they didn't have the good opportunities. And he did not regret about his height of 174 cm being categorized not tall enough for an actor. He said that it would be perfect if he were taller, nobody knows! Leslie didn’t have any intention to return to the stage, but he still had the interest and had great confidence in composing songs and lyrics. It was hard for Leslie to receive unprofessional music critiques. It is difficult for him to accept if the public placed his song at the 9th place of the chart whereas the song of a popular but not talented junior was at the 8th place.

Leslie had just bought an apartment in elite Hong Kong hills area and his hobby was interior decoration. "I’m a choosy person on this matter. Every corner of the house would not escape my attention", he said. He also said that he had always wanted to have a comfortable feeling around his residence even though it didn’t mean that his house must be decorated very beautifully. And Leslie would be always happy if much sunshine entered his house, but he must sleep in very dark condition because it would be more comfortable and he could sleep well. For this apartment Leslie used a lot of white colour with architecture style of the 30s and practical decorations. He loved white colour. However it would be very dirty but got dusty quickly. Above his big bed there were five white and soft big pillows.

One day Leslie was interviewed by reporter Tina Lau, his old acquaintance. The interview would be conducted in his new house and would be continued in a Japanese restaurant of Peninsula Hotel. Tina arrived at Leslie's house at seven o' clock; Leslie had been in front of the door to welcome her. "He's still the same old Leslie," write Tina, "Friendly and sincere." Leslie invited Tina to go round his 3,000 ft square house, which was trendy and modern. There was a photo of little Leslie with his sister on the table near his bed. But there was no other picture of him on the wall. Near that photo there was a little statue, a present from the dancers of his farewell concert. One corner of his house was like a boutique. There was the place where Leslie kept his wardrobe in a perfect order. Also there was a little study room in a corner. In this interview Tina asked Leslie some questions. When the interview was finished Tina remembered some years ago when she was in charge of Leslie's stage make-up for his concert. At that time she was looking at a very beautiful soft face. And she thought that his face was really from God's grace for human kind, she couldn't think of other kinds but indeed it was a God's gift.

In U.S.A., 12 November 1993, The Dallas Morning News reported that world superstar Madonna held a star-studded party for "Farewell My Concubine" and director Chen Kaige. Madonna was very impressed with this film.

It's a Wonderful Life

At the end of the year Leslie was involved in shooting process of "It's Wonderful Life", which was released to welcome the Chinese New Year. Leslie was accompanied by his assistant Auntie Ying. At a first glace it looked that Auntie Ying took care and served Leslie, but as a matter of fact it was Leslie who intentionally give a chance for Auntie Ying to get a job and income because he knew that she would need money for Chinese New Year. In this film Leslie appeared with a different outlook, with moustache and beard. His role was a jobless young man, very free in thinking and he had been living in France for a long time. When he came to Hong Kong, he was belittled by the Chow family, but later on he could offer help to the enharmonic family member one by one and won their hearts.

Reporter Lin Bin visited Leslie at the shooting location. He was with his assistant Auntie Ying. To Lin Bin, Leslie said this time he asked Auntie Ying to be his personal assistant because there were too many stars in the movie. Lin knew Leslie wanted to help Auntie Ying to earn some more money for her needs during the Chinese New Year. This showed that he was a thoughtful and warm person. Lin noticed something between Leslie and Auntie Ying. Auntie Ying asked Leslie, "Are you free now?" Leslie replied her, "Want me to autograph again?" "Yes" "No problem, but you have to pay me" "How much?" "Five dollars each" "Okay, deal" Auntie Ying took out a set of his photos. They then counted the number seriously. After finishing one set she took out another, they counted again. Lin was curious and asked Auntie Ying, "How many altogether?  You really pay him?" "How would he suppose to take my money" "But you look serious!" "We are just having some fun".

On 22 December 1993 "Bride With White Hair 2" was premiered. The main cast of the sequel was Brigitte Lin. Leslie only had a few takes at the beginning and the end of the film. This time the director was not Ronny Yu for he had been replaced by David Wu.

Best Original Song

The 30th Golden Horse Award Presentation Ceremony was held in Taiwan. Leslie's theme song of the "Bride With White Hair" won the Golden Horse award for the best original song category. He shared the award with Lam Chik. "The Bride With White Hair" also won the best adaptation scenario. Leslie could have won more awards in this festival if "Farewell My Concubine" had entered the competition. But the festival implemented certain rules so "Farewell My Concubine" could not compete in this festival. At this time Leslie also won "High Achievement in Art Performance Society" from Mainland China. In Japan a poll was held by Hong Kong Movie Express. Japan which had 3,000 memberships who voted GorGor as the best actor for his performance in "Days of Being Wild".

Leslie offered to sing the theme song of "The Bride with White Hair" which had won a Golden Horse Award for Leon Lai Ming. It was a gift for Leon's birthday. Lai Ming said, "Leslie is a talented man in music. Other artists cannot finish recording a song in half a day but he only needs 10 minutes to finish it." Leslie also composed another song for Leon, and he was executive producer of some songs in Leon's album.

1994 - SINCERE HEART

In January, Leslie was invited by TVB to hand out the Jade Solid Gold 'most welcomed singer' award. Leslie said that he had hoped to hand out the award to Leon Lai Ming. That night, the winner was indeed Leon Lai, and Leslie got the chance to give the award to him. Leslie had always secretly supported Leon. One day, Leon's assistant who also happened to be Leslie's assistant at the time, told him that a fashion store sales girl had been disrespectful to Leon - when he bought one of the two similar styled suits from the shop. Leon had pleaded for the sales girl to not sell the other suit to any other artist, as he was worried about being seen wearing the same clothes as another artist at the same occasion. But the shop assistant had responded to him rudely, stating that the shop would sell the suit to any buyer who wanted it. On hearing this, Leslie immediately went to the shop and bought the other suit. He bought it not to wear, but to keep it. And he did this only to defend and protect Leon Lai!

"It's a Wonderful Life", the film about a Chinese family, featured a strong cast and premiered on 6th February. Among the cast was veteran actor, Kwan Tuck Heng. He held a record for starring in more than 130 films! As usual, Leslie kept up good relationships with his co-stars during the film shoot. There were also occasions when Do Do Cheng and Teresa Mo would go over to his house for supper and so on.

Many people have said that Leslie's handsome face is perfect, and has almost no flaws. After we get up close and speak to him, the above words have proven true because his beauty is not merely physical but shines out from within his beautiful inner soul. He had always been straightforward and sincere. Since he began his career, when he orbited to become a top-billing singer, and then gained success in the film world, Leslie Cheung experienced many changes. But these changes did not influence his straightforward style of speaking and his sincere attitude in all things. Even though he grew to have a much deeper understanding about the world he lived and worked in, and had put in much effort to be more flexible and careful, his true character never changed. At that stage a reporter had asked him what a man like Leslie Cheung - who could be said to have everything: a name, popularity and wealth - would most desire. Leslie answered that he most desired acknowledgement, so that if anyone mentioned the name 'Leslie Cheung' it meant that they were referring to a legitimate and prolific actor. By 1994 Leslie's hard work had made him an 'idol' with superstar status in Hong Kong, and he no longer felt the need to pursue that 'idol' status. Leslie did not want to be referred to merely as an 'idol', because he longed to go beyond such assertions of his image. He only wanted to be a good actor, and had wanted someday to become a director. And Leslie had honestly stated that he did not know for how long he would still be involved in the film world: maybe for two years, maybe for twenty years more.

Leslie had said, "In the past or at present, it doesn't matter if I succeed or fail, truly I can say that I never hurt anybody. This kind of characteristic makes me suffer a lot."

Canadian director David Cronenberg offered Leslie the chance to act in "M. Butterfly" with actor Jeremy Irons, but because Leslie felt that the theme of the film was rather similar to "Farewell My Concubine", he did not accept the offer. John Lone took the role. A film critic compared the John Lone's performance with Leslie's performance in "Farewell My Concubine". The film critic said that John Lone was not convincing as a woman: "It can be argued that Cronenberg cast the film with this in mind, to let the audience in on a secret that he knew the intimacy of film couldn't be kept hidden for long. But anyone who has seen the terrific performance by Leslie Cheung in the Cannes-winning "Farewell My Concubine" knows that it can be done much more realistically than it is here. Lone is a strong actor being put in a virtually impossible situation. He has tried to modulate his voice, half-talking and half-whispering to simulate the husky mystery of a woman's voice. But it never quite connects; he never seems more comfortable than at the end of the film when he's dressed in a man's clothes. By comparison, Cheung was just the opposite in "Farewell", fully inhabiting the character that he was playing and the character that character was playing."

John Lone was also offered the role in "Farewell My Concubine", but he finally didn't take it, and he said that he was proud with Leslie's success in "Farewell".

A Vancouver newspaper, 'The Vancouver Sun', included the photo of Leslie Cheung with his collie dog, Joy, at his Vancouver home. Columnist Peter Birnie started his article by writing, "He was a pop star in Hong Kong but Leslie Cheung now looks to movies, and Vancouver, for a new life. With his film "Farewell My Concubine" in full flight, at this moment nominated for an Oscar as best foreign film, Cheung has no regrets about choosing in 1990 to end a 10-year singing career that has filled a room in his home with platinum records and music awards. Judging from the laser disc of one such concert, Cheung is lucky to have emerged from the throng of adoring young women without losing a limb. He left behind a tongue-in-cheek rivalry with fellow star Alan Tam. "We were always fighting each other for the awards," he says, "but we're the best of friends." Now in his mid-30s, Cheung knows the Hong Kong music mill will always crank out another idol to fill a quota that's dubbed 'the Top Four'. "There were four guys coming up, just like us, so it was kind of funny," he says. "When I watch television now, I find the shadows, like they're doing the things that we did before."

Cheung fell in love with Vancouver when he first toured here in 1987, but motivation to move didn't come until the 1989 massacre in Tienanmen Square. He refers to China's plans to swallow Hong Kong as 'the '97 burden.' Despite a fear of flying (and claustrophobia to boot), Cheung will continue the long commute between Canada and Hong Kong. "I've had a lot of offers from Hollywood now, but I'm still thinking," he says. "I'm pretty big in Hong Kong and I don't want to lose my fans because I'm going to do some lousy Grade C or D movie in Hollywood." Cheung has already encountered the subtle racism that keeps Asian actors shut out of all but stereotypical roles in most Hollywood features. "One of the production companies tried to line me up with Keanu Reeves, acting as a ninja. I said, "Don't ask me to play a ninja". Cheung even questions friend John Woo's move to Tinseltown. "I don't think he's doing the right thing in Hollywood at all. He called me up when doing "Hard Target" in New Orleans; he was complaining that people were cutting his budget and his time." Despite his reservations, Cheung flies to Hollywood this week in preparation for next Monday's Academy Awards. If the pundits are right and "Farewell My Concubine" adds to its list of prizes (Palme d'Or, Golden Globe, L.A. and New York film critics associations), will he be more likely to stay on this side of the Pacific? "I don't know anything about Hollywood," he says, laughing again. "I'm just an ordinary moviegoer!"

In Los Angeles Leslie asked a taxi driver, "What is your dream?" And the taxi driver said, "To be a film star". Leslie was surprised, in Hong Kong it was different.

The great Hollywood director Steven Spielberg felt surprised and admired Leslie's acting in "Farewell My Concubine". The 66th Academy Awards nominated "Farewell My Concubine" in two categories: the best foreign language film nomination, and best cinematography nomination (for Gu Chang Wei). Less than two months before, "Farewell My Concubine" had won the Golden Globe as the best foreign language film. The film also won in the 'Los Angeles Film Critics Awards', the 'New York Film Festival', the 'Polish Film Festival', and other film festivals in Europe. But the film did not win at the Academy Awards.  Leslie who attended the ceremony with John Woo pointedly stated said there must have been some political reason behind "Farewell"'s losing. The U.S. had indeed put a lot of pressure on the People’s Republic of China on many issues, one of them was about copyright infringements.

Veteran actress Cheng Pei Pei, who acted in "Woman of 33" with Leslie, met up with him at the airport in Los Angeles. Cheng Pei Pei recalled a lot about Leslie, realizing that she had known him for more than a decade. These 10 years seem so long, almost like a century to her. According to her if one were to write about their careers, one could write a long novel. In recent years, both of them have returned to Hong Kong almost at the same time, and once again work in show business. But they did not get to see each other so often. She recalled meeting him after a long time at the "Interview with Celebrities" programme, run by the Chinese News, in Malaysia several years before. She visited him to do a report about his shoot. On these two occasions when Cheng Pei Pei met Leslie he treated her with much respect, as his senior and not as a reporter. Maybe he was correct to feel that she was really like the elder sister of his best friend! That is why he was always extremely kind to her whenever they met. But Cheng never told him that he was like a younger brother to her, as she was of the opinion that this should not be so important.

Cheng Pei Pei also never missed a chance to watch any of Leslie's movies. She would always buy the tickets herself to watch his movies at the cinema, and according to her his movies are worth paying money for. There are very few actors like Leslie in Hong Kong, who has such enthusiasm and sincerity. Or she often said that, for him, movies are not just a means of earning money but something he does for pleasure. When a person works not merely to earn a living, that person can reach the highest level of his ability. To work for pleasure, this is a dream for most people.

That year, the Japanese Film Critics Society awarded Leslie with the Best Actor title for his performance in "Farewell My Concubine". During the year, "Farewell My Concubine" had aired several times on Japanese TV station NHK, and on the NHK satellite channel. The movie was a mega hit and marked a box office record for Asian cinema released in Japan. It screened for 7 months in Tokyo and other major cities around Japan, which was also a record. Films released theatrically are usually screened for up to 4 to 5 weeks in Japan, thus the 7 months period of screening Leslie's hit movie is remarkably long. The movie and Leslie's acting were highly acclaimed by film critics, the media and public. It was considered the most important film in the history of Asian Cinema in Japan!

He’s a Woman, She’s a Man

"He's a Woman, She's a Man" was also a box-office movie of the year, pulling full houses in Hong Kong cinemas. Leslie sang the theme song for the film soundtrack, Chui ("Chase"), composed by Dick Lee, a renowned composer and singer from Singapore. The single of this song became a big hit. Leslie's older fans did of course miss his voice singing a song. Their longing was a little reprieved by " The Bride with White Hair" soundtrack, and the song "Chase". And it couldn't be denied that even though Leslie had left his singing career, with every passing year he always seemed to gain legions of new fans. During the location shoot of "He's a Woman, She's a Man" many fans waited faithfully to see Leslie. What surprised and amazed many reporters was the fact that many of them were still teenagers!

At the Fringe Club, with piano, drums and other musical instruments on the stage, Leslie's character Sam Koo had a jam session with his friends in "He's a Woman, She's a Man". He sang two songs, the famous Beatles song, "Twist and Shout", and the sweet "In This Lifetime".

"He's a Woman, She's a Man" was directed by Peter Chan, a Thailand Chinese. Leslie was paired with the talented artist, Anita Yuen, Miss Hong Kong 1990 - who had just won the Best Actress title at the Hong Kong Film Festival that year for her performance in Derek Yee's, "Till the End of Time". At the awards ceremony, Leslie together with actor Tony Leung Kar Fai presented the award to Anita. Anita, whose body was very thin, felt nervous of Leslie and his fame. Usually, Anita speaks excellently, she excels in memorizing dialogue, and she had never had problems to say eight sentences in row without stopping. But when she faced Leslie, her tongue became like that of a dumb person.

"Indeed, I was too nervous and felt a failure when I faced Leslie. Whereas Leslie was calm, he memorized the dialogue very well, knew what sentence must be followed by what other sentence. Because of being too nervous, I had cold sweats and the movie scrip got truly crumpled!”, said Anita shrugging her shoulder. But Leslie was known to always be nice and helpful to a newcomer.

"The more time went by, the more nervous I felt, then I had to repeat a scene about nine times. Usually, if I hear the director shout "cut", I would just relax and I'd go play around. But this time, every time I heard the word "cut" I would immediately sit as if I am about to faint, supporting my head with my hands and breathing deeply. Leslie, on the contrary, showed his kindness trying to comfort me. And I had to pretend to be calm, like nothing had happened. Maybe in his heart he thought:  'Ah, they said Anita is great, but she is only like this'."

Because she was so ashamed, Anita did many self-introspections. She realized that in the past she had been rather lazy and she wanted to improve herself. "Leslie was indeed very diligent, he always made a note of the dialogue which was to be followed in the movie script, thus it helped him to memorize it. I followed his way of working. It has already been three nights that I diligently do my 'homework'", said Anita.

If she looked at Leslie, Anita didn't dare to do it directly. She only dared to look at Leslie's one eye, so that she would not get too intoxicated or nervous. One day, Leslie and Anita were shooting scenes at the Deco Grill at the Peak. Leslie's character, Sam Koo, was drinking with Anita Yuen's character, who was disguised as a man. Sam Koo wanted to get to know 'him' better so that he could write songs for 'him', and one of the questions he had asked was when 'he' made love for the first time.

The "He's a Woman, She's a Man" film poster was subsequently showed off on a wall. Many people said, "Look how handsome Leslie is". "No", said Leslie humbly. But some minutes later he looked at his poster and said, "Oh yeah, this 38 year old man still looks handsome… hmmm….". Every body laughed. Because Leslie is an unusual and daring actor we therefore have a movie like "He's a Woman, She's a Man".

About love between people of the same gender, Leslie said, "Love between a man and woman lasts for a moment like fireworks. It easily disappears, and making it last is very hard. I think love between two men is different from that. It's generous and kind, supported by a solid trust."

At the same time as when he was shooting "He's a Woman, She's a Man", Leslie also starred in a comedy film directed by Gordon Chan, entitled "Long and Winding Road". In "Long and Winding Road", Leslie Cheung, an angel from heaven, played a bad guy, Lam Chiu Wing. Leslie felt very tired having to do many scenes for two films in a day. He said that he was too tired because he did sports one day before. It was Teresa Mo who had suggested for him to do some sports, and consume healthy food. Usually Leslie kept his body in a healthy condition by going jogging and swimming. But nowadays, Leslie chose to do training in the gym because he was worried that swimming would influence the condition of his hair. Leslie had indeed experienced some indication of baldness. To handle this problem, he took therapy in a hair care center. This kind of treatment was not painful, as if someone is being injected. Leslie used treatment shampoo, hair care hormones and medicine to stimulate growth and prevent the loss of hair. Leslie also consumed 3 kinds of vitamins. Every month he paid almost HK$2,000. Luckily, Leslie succeeded in handling this problem. His hair therapy was successful.

"He's a Woman She's a Man" premiered on 23 July 1994, and "Long and Winding Road" followed on 4 August 1994.  The two films were no. 2 and no. 3 at box office record. No.1 was the American film "Speed".

The projects Leslie was involved in were dream projects for many Hong Kong new artists. Ray Chan for example, would be very happy if he could play the part of Yuddy in "Days of Being Wild". Edmund Leung fell in love with Paris after he saw "Sunset in Paris".

Sandra Ng Interview

In Sandra Ng's radio interview, she asked Leslie what kind of dream he would like to have, and he answered that he would of course like to dream about the person that he loved most. Sandra added "... you mentioned earlier that you already have one person in your life already", and Leslie replied "...that's the person I'm referring to…". To which Sandra replied in awe and disbelief "....Oh Gor Gor, I really can't stand you (in an envious tone) ...you want to see this person when you are awake, and you want to see this person in your dreams too!!!" And Leslie replied softly "Yes". It is truly amazing to hear Leslie say it, in his own words. He was very forthright in showing his love for his partner, and was not ashamed or hesitant at all to admit it. How many artistes have the guts to admit this? Of course, the "person" that he was referring to was none other than Mr. Tong Hock Tak. In 1994 Leslie and Mr. Tong would had been together more than 10 years, which is not a short amount of time by any measure. Sandra did the interview with a male DJ. He also had some questions for Leslie.

In that interview Leslie also mentioned that he loves children.

In other interview Leslie said he didn't care about going to Hollywood unless he was offered a good script. He would rather work with mainland directors like Zhang Yi-mou, Tien Zhong-zhong or Taiwanese director Hou Hau-yin. He thought there were plenty of opportunities in Asia. Going to Hollywood was not his cup of tea. As a professional actor, he also didn't mind stripping in front of the camera if the script sees it necessary. He said he's well prepared for this challenge. For example if you want to express a person's narcissism there is no better way than to strip in front of the mirror and then kiss yourself in the mirror. He had been doing love scenes in his early movies like "On Trial" and "Nomad". He joked that he would be punished for that by the Communists, and that is why he has to leave Hong Kong.

About his baby-faced appearance, Leslie said that it did not affect the development of his acting career. "It has never been a barrier in my professional development," Leslie said. "On the contrary, I believe it has been an asset. Maintaining youthful appeal is easy," he said. "I try not to make myself tense and seldom stay out late." Enjoying life was another secret. It has been nearly five years since Leslie announced he was quitting the music industry to devote himself to movie-making, a decision he says he has not regretted. "I appreciate the fact that my songs are still popular, probably due to karaoke playing," he said. "It is a great comfort. But comparatively speaking, filming is not so time consuming, especially when it comes to promotion. I just have to fulfill my acting role and after the shoot comes to an end, my job is completed. Sometimes I may have to attend one or two press conferences before the movie is released, but that is it." Even though Leslie had ditched his music career - apart from singing theme songs for some of his movies - he still has a lot fans. They were part of the reason he says he won't resume singing. "I still get invitations to sing, especially at charitable functions," Leslie said. "I won't do that because I don't want to back down on my promise (to disappear from the music scene) to my fans." He describes Hong Kong as a "complicated society" where one must be on guard all the time. "For example, you might work on something for a charitable purpose, but other people might feel you're actually using it for self-promotion," he added. "I prefer low-exposure projects when I do things for charity." Leslie had big ambitions for his acting career and was not limiting himself to Hong Kong. "I want to have a chance to extend my career into the international market, but that doesn't necessarily mean Hollywood," he said. Leslie wanted to build up his reputation internationally through Chinese-produced movies. "The Chinese always play the underdog role," he said. "But over the past few years they have gained attention and respect for their great success. I feel this is a great encouragement." On a darker note, Leslie said he felt local movies were limited because they always follow the trend. Changing this, he said, was difficult because of the territory's small market. "Most investors are businessmen and their only consideration is getting satisfactory returns," Leslie added. "At present, it seems that only commercial films are welcomed by the audience. This makes us different from overseas markets, where there are a certain amount of people who support underground music and movies." After Leslie quit the music scene, he spent some time in Canada. His first plan was to settle down there and set up a coffee shop. "Things came out differently from what I had expected," he said. "I couldn't afford to totally retire." But he said he's happy with what he has at this moment. "I consider myself a serious actor rather than a movie idol," he says. "I believe one's desire changes from stage to stage," he said. "At the moment, I hope to fulfil my role as an actor." Leslie described himself as emotional, a side which he says has helped him in his career. "An artist must be emotional otherwise it is hard to put himself or herself into a role," he said.

Leslie had endeavored to learn more about the Chinese Culture. And this was something that came to the notice of Professor Yee Shao Hua, a professor of Chinese music history and music culture. In Prof. Yee's eyes, Leslie was a Western-style singer, an idol. So what was it that established ties between the two of them? During their meeting at a Chinese University Hong Kong seminar, Prof. Yee asked Leslie if he felt any change within himself after performing in literature-related movies such as "Rouge", and later "Farewell My Concubine", which was filmed back in mainland China. According to Prof. Yee, Leslie was very frank in answering his question. Leslie said, “I re-recognize myself as a Chinese. Chinese culture is splendid and great. When I was working on the mainland, I found people from mainland China nice and pure. Such experiences totally changed me." Prof. Yee could tell that Leslie was being very sincere about what he had said. He was a typical example of people from Hong Kong and their relationship with Chinese culture. Hong Kong people do not have enough knowledge or a clear idea about Chinese culture, and Prof. Yee included himself in this analysis. It was not until he left Hong Kong and China that he observed China from a distance and got to know it. Leslie had the same experience as his.

My Hong Kong

"Hong Kong Visitor", a tourist guidebook published by the South China Morning Post published an article called "My Hong Kong" by Leslie. "Although he's acted on television and in many unforgettable films for more than a decade, Leslie Cheung Kwok Wing used to be typecast as a Canto pop pin-up whose main admirers were screaming teenage girls. Not so any more. His role as opera star Cheng Dieyi in the Palme D'Or winning film, "Farewell to My Concubine", has ensured that his name is now bandied about in international film circles. And one thing's certain, Leslie has bid his farewell to the days when he was just a pretty boy. He takes time off a movie set here to tell us why Hong Kong is home.

Leslie announced his retirement and migrated to Canada in the early 90s. He said he did want to keep his word (he was not going to sing and act in movies any more) but he found life in Canada was not exactly what he wanted. When asked whether he would leave Hong Kong again, he wouldn't say "No". But he reiterated that unless he felt uncomfortable living in Hong Kong, he would spend the rest of his life in the city because he loved the place very much. Hong Kong is a fascinating city, and also his 'roots'.

Leslie had had many a time warded off questions from reporters who wanted to know whether he wanted to make a ‘come-back’ to the music world. For him, filming movies did not have the same kind of pressure, only do a shoot and do a little promotion. Leslie always refused many offers to sing, especially for charity. But slowly, Leslie began to have a wish to come back. It was indeed a waste if a music superstar like him could only sing 'karaoke' at home! When watching Jonathan Li's concert in Taiwan, the desire to go back to the stage came to Leslie's mind because the band playing at the concert was his former band. And Leslie also felt dissatisfied with new Canto-pop singers. They couldn't sing and interpret the songs well. Leslie thought, "I sing well, why don't I go back to the recording studio?" Leslie's retirement had indeed been a very big loss to the Hong Kong music industry. At the end of the interview he said, "If I want to back to singing, I will go back whenever I want. If I want to sing, I will just sing. The most important thing is I enjoy it. I don't care what other people will say…"

On 17 September 1994, "Ashes of Time" finally premiered after more than two years in the making. The film featured many of Hong Kong's most famous actors, with Leslie playing a pivotal role as the 'link' between the stories of each character played by these top artistes. Leslie was usually Wong Kar-wai's first pick for his movies. But he was busy from time to time with other projects, so he had turned down "Chungking Express" and "Fallen Angels," for which finally Tony Leung and Leon Lai got picked to replace him.

We can get to know Leslie's personality better by reading many of his interviews. One of his reporter friends, Joe, titled one of his reports, "See How Leslie Cheung Loves And Scolds Someone". Leslie did not like Joe's boss Li Zhi Ying, since he felt that Li was capable of ruining the future of an artiste by writing bad stories about an artist in his magazine. Joe wrote that Leslie was already a very eloquent person 10 years back. During that time, everyone would tell him about this, right to his face. Ever since he acted in "The Bride with White Hair", people started calling him 'GorGor'. Leslie remained the same but the attitudes of the people around him changed. Some people would be bitchy about Leslie behind his back, but would appear very polite in front of him-especially those working with him. The people from the upper management would of course be more tactful, but to be frank this can only be considered fake. We all don't have to spell out all the reasons. As Leslie's friends, you will be able to understand him. Besides his good looks, Leslie was someone with his own principles. He was always very clear and very honest about it. He said: "Whatever you do, you should have a principled attitude, a bottom line. So long as we don't hinder each other work, then we will have no problem". Leslie became more agitated as he commented on how irresponsible the media is nowadays. And he had even made negative comments about Joe's boss Li Zhi Ying. As a reporter, Joe felt that he should maintain an objective attitude towards people and other matters, he wrote: "Sorry, boss. Whatever the comments or criticisms GorGor made, I will just write it down".

In fact, this was not really an interview. If it was an interview, Leslie would most probably not have accepted it, since he thought that the media nowadays liked to exaggerate things and pry too much into artistes' privacy. He detested this so much, just as he had said before: "If I see those magazines that I don't like, why should I care about them? Don't think that just by sending one card over, it means I should give face to them. I am someone who can tear the card in front of these people. Why should I give chances to these people who are fucking around?"

Luckily Joe was a friend of Leslie's, so he faced less risks of having his card torn up. Leslie knew that part of their conversation would be written down, and he promised Joe that he would allow them to take some photos for use in the magazine. They were still chatting happily but when the photographer started taking photos, Gor Gor suddenly got angry. During the photo session, he kept saying: "You go and tell your boss Li Zhi Ying, I am only taking the photos because I am doing my friend a favour, not because I am giving him face. I don't understand what he is thinking. What good does it bring him to ruin the future of an artiste? How long can a magazine continue to have good sales? Now, I am not the only one saying this, many artistes are very unhappy about this! If this goes on, sooner or later we will come together and boycott him. Then we will see what more they can write. Honestly speaking, it is not that we are not allowing them to talk or write, but not with this attitude, not completed and not true".

"What is the use of doing so many things? You must have your own principles in whatever things you do. Now, I only wish to be a real actor. Now that I still have my market, I am going to continue acting. In the past I have said I wanted to be a director, but I will not be thinking about it at the moment." A reporter asked: "You are still so popular now, do you feel you have a little luck?" He replied: "You can say so, as an artiste, you must make sure the audience likes you. If there are no audiences, no matter how good you are, it will be of no use!"

Not arrogant, just speaking the truth! Although Leslie had said many words out of rage, he would still change his tone and say something nice to comfort Joe. Honestly speaking, Leslie had never changed at all, whether it was when he was acting small roles or now that he is a famous artiste. Joe was not going to comment whether he thought that Leslie's statement was right or wrong, as different people in different positions see things differently. But in his eyes, to say everything so frankly is Leslie's principle, at least Leslie feels comfortable this way. As they were chatting they agreed that there were really very few artistes like him nowadays. Leslie stressed that he was not being very arrogant by saying such words. And because of this, if artistes like him would not speak up, who would dare to say anything? But to see things in a different point of view, to Leslie those exciting days had already passed. Leslie seldom went out, he could enjoy his love life and his successful career that he finally gained, and at least he was happy about it.

Inspired by their idol, who was always a trendsetter, Leslie Cheung fans Chang Chi Tao with some of his friends established the Leslie Cheung Internet Fan Club (LCIFC). This was the first internet fan club in Hong Kong, and may be even in Asia!

Leslie's song "Chase" from the movie "He's a Woman, She's a Man" (music by Dick Lee, lyric by Lam Tsik, sung by Leslie Cheung) was nominated for Best Movie Theme Song at the 31st Taiwan Golden Horse Awards. The previous April, another of Leslie's songs, "The White-Haired Beauty" from the movie "The Bride With White Hair" (music by Leslie Cheung, lyric by Lam Tsik, sung by Leslie Cheung) was nominated for Best Original Film Song at the 13th Hong Kong Golden Film Awards. And again Leslie was Winner of the Best Actor title from the Hong Kong Movie Express Japan (1994 membership, 4,000) for his appearance in "Farewell My Concubine".

That year, Teresa Mo married director Tony Au. Both Leslie and Teresa enjoyed each others company as close friends. Leslie called her "Honey", but he stopped calling her that after Teresa remarried. He missed her company after she got married, especially during the mahjong sessions. He dared not call her "Honey" because Tony was a serious person, even if he is a nice guy. A woman reporter, a long time acquaintance of Leslie met Mr. Tong for the first time at Teresa Mo's wedding party. It's only a small party of a few tables. Teresa had invited a few very close friends and relatives including Leslie, Mr. Tong, Rosamund Kwan, Leung Lee Siu-har etc. The reporter was sitting at a table behind Leslie. Leslie came to say hello to the reporter and they chatted for a while. Afterwards the reporter heard Leslie greet Mr. Tong, and say, "Gor Gor, come here". So, actually Mr. Tong is the 'gorgor'!

Mr. Tong is a very nice guy in the hearts of their friends. Leung Lee Siu-har was in frequent contact with them, and she told the reporter, "We used to call Tong Tong 'Gor Gor' and Leslie 'Ah Chai' (meaning 'son'), he (Leslie) called me 'thin Mom'."

On other occasion, when he was asked about his perspective on love between the same gender, Leslie said that he was not a homophobic, because in this world the most important thing is sincere love. "Love belongs to us, ourselves. No need to be bothered about other people's views, the most important thing is that we feel happy, delighted and do not cause the other's loss. So there is no need to care about the other people's bad mouth." Leslie had just moved from the apartment to a house. Both Leslie and Tony Leung Chiu Wai didn't like to stay in apartments. They were afraid that people would stare at them.  "If the people I don't know greet me, I will reply to their greeting. But I don't dare to take the initiative to greet them. If the person I greet doesn't reply to me, I will feel ashamed. When I decided to retire, people thought that I was afraid that my career would fade away, indeed I was afraid to die. I even received a candle, incense, money for the dead, and a dead cockroach. If we are always conscious that there are people who would like to condemn us to early deaths, we will be in the shadow of death all the time! I really don't know when my soul will be lost, because of stabbing by a knife or having chemicals poured. I only work as an artist, why must I be terrorized and accept that kind of treatment? So I decided to retire."

He had at least 500 million HK dollars, 3 houses (two in Canada, one in Hong Kong) and one apartment in May Tower, which his mother occupied. Maggie Cheung and Rosamund asked him to open a coffee shop so it could be a place for them to gather together. When asked why he didn't marry, Leslie said he didn't have any interest to be a father. One of his sisters suffered complications while giving birth (her heart nearly stopped), and it scared him.

One day when he was taking his car in the car park, there was a boy who saw him. The boy felt very happy and said to his mother, "Mom, look at him… he is Cheung Kwok Wing!" What gave Leslie a shock was how the boy's mother scorned him and said, "What is so terrific about Cheung Kwok Wing…?" Leslie felt humiliated. In his opinion, peoples' abhorrence of the poor and the jealousy toward the rich was too much. He did not like it. In this world, the one with a sincere heart is rare. And Leslie was one of them.

1995 - MUSIC IS MY WORLD

...Your fingers touched the strings of my heart and made it sing again... (From "A Thousand Dreams of You", by Francis Fats Waller/Louis Armstrong)

Chinese New Year Film

Clifton Ko was a bit upset with Leslie because Leslie had rejected his offer to act in his new Chinese New Year film. This was because Leslie had to go to Mainland China for a new project with Chen Kaige. Clifton said that he had given a cheque to Leslie as a down payment and he would sue Leslie for the rejection. Leslie said he had never cleared the cheque and added that he did not want to have trouble with anyone especially people in the showbiz. So he hoped that he would not have any problem with Clifton Ko. Hence in 1995, Leslie did not act in Clifton Ko's Chinese New Year film. However, he had acted in another Chinese New Year movie "The Chinese Feast" (directed by Tsui Hark) with co-stars Anita Yuen, Kenny Bee, and Vincent Zhao Wen Zhou, the kung fu champion from Beijing who was orbited to fame by Tsui Hark as the new "Huang Fei Hung". The film was hilarious. Tsui Hark's film was different from other Hong Kong comedy. It was neat and it was so clear that prolific director Tsui Hark always paid attention to details - music, costume, scenario and also the food. Leslie introduced Vincent Zhao Wen Zhou to Anita Mui. Vincent and Anita then became an item. Leslie had a destiny with director Chen Kaige. He was intended to cast for a renowned poet of ancient China. However Chen Kaige had put aside that project and he started to produce a film based on a story which had been on his mind since the end of 1993. He made this film especially for Leslie.

Come Back to Music

Although Leslie enjoyed his film career, yet there was something missing for him. A brilliant singer like him should do recording. Many recording companies offered him the opportunities. "Well, in 1995, I was at my good friend Emil Chow Hua Chien's concert. I also met Chris (Babida), my old band leader there and the atmosphere was great. I saw them together and thought, "Gosh!! This is wonderful. I want it again. I was very stubborn and the recording company took 2 years to convince me to make a comeback," Leslie said. And finally Leslie chose Rock Record and Tapes, a Taiwanese based recording company.

An interview was held in 1995, just before he released his album "Love Leslie". The interviewer was Brenda. May be it was fated. Seven years ago, she also had an interview with Leslie in his Hong Kong house. They talked a lot that night. He told her that he had already decided to quit his entertainment career and immigrate to Canada. For this interview, they chatted in his Vancouver house where Leslie told her that he would sing again. Then Brenda queried as to why he had quitted his career when it was at its peak. Was it because of the pressure and the social relationship between people? Also, whether he had attained what he had wanted in these 7 years?

On one night at Si Hua Hotel ballroom, Taipei, Taiwan, Leslie Cheung announced his comeback to the music world as a singer. It needed a real strong mental to do this. Since he left the stage in the early 1990s, his shoes which left footprints of a good-looking singer who could sing and dance well, were never worn by other artists. So it was no wonder that Leslie's comeback was greatly welcomed by music's lovers. That night Leslie met 200 reporters from Hong Kong, Taiwan, Korea, Japan and South East Asia - all were invited by Rock Record and Tapes. The reporters faced him like they were facing an old enemy. "Why must you slap your own face?" they asked. They reported that Leslie pulled a long face at them on hearing this question. Leslie didn't like it. Most of them wrote negative reports which made non-fans to dislike Leslie. It was fortunate that Leslie’s handsome face was shown on the reports. At that time Leslie wore a white suit and a pair of white Nike shoes. He said he was more matured and he had a new thinking. He also said that his singing technique was far better than six years ago. He only wanted to sing his level best. President director Rock Record & Tapes International, Mr. Cing Than gave three watches as souvenirs to mark 100 years of film to Leslie. Other Rock's important person - Mr. Luk Sao Chang was in attendance on this important night. Rock said that Leslie was the artiste with the highest honor and the cost of his album production was also the highest. It was rumoured that the price of Leslie's contract had reached the 50 HK million dollar mark. In three years, Leslie would be making three albums and three video clips respectively. Besides that, Leslie did not need to do any other promotions. They gave Leslie a free hand with no pressure at all.

Intrusions on Private Life

When Leslie was in Taipei, he asked his good friend Daffy Tong to occupy his house as Leslie didn't like to leave his house vacant. There was a reporter who headlined this in the news by writing that Tong was Leslie's 'gay partner'. They traced Tong's background from the time he worked in a bank and they followed him wherever he went. Leslie said it was alright if the reporter followed Tong if he was a celebrity like him. He didn't want the reporters following Daffy to and from the office from morning till night. Sometimes Leslie would pick up Tong at his working place. Sometimes before meeting Tong, Leslie would be drinking his favourite drink - orange juice mixed with carrot juice in a restaurant. One day when Leslie was with Tong in his lovely Porsche, the reporter directed his camera towards Tong. Leslie immediately gave chase to the reporter, but his Porsche was badly hit by the reporter's car with a dent in the front left side.

The reporters then wrote about Leslie's HK$ 26 million house in Turtle Cove Bay no.2, where he was captivated by the scenery of the sea between Hong Kong and Macau. Leslie had told his close friends that this was his 'Dream House'. The garage could accommodate 5 cars. The house had 5 spacious bedrooms. How about this way - it was also reported that Leslie's May Towers apartment was seemingly a gift from his godmother. They also published photos of Leslie's house in Canada. Many tourists went to Leslie's house because the photos appeared in magazines. This intruded on Leslie's life and finally this house had to be sold and it went for a good price. Leslie had bought his Turtle Cove property for HKD 26 million in 1995 and sold it for HKD 68 million in 1997.

In an interview, Leslie denied the news that he had received a lot of money from his godmother. However, he did not deny that he had a close relationship with his godmother. He often gave his godmother surprises. For example, Leslie returned to Hong Kong from Canada on the eve of her birthday. He phoned his godmother and apologized for not being able to attend her birthday as he was in Canada but at the stroke of midnight, he knocked on the door of his godmother's residence and offered himself as a present for his godmother, Irene Tam. He often played mahjong with her.

Phantom Lover

"'Phantom Lover' is amazing, this is a very personal movie and with Leslie, this was something we both wanted to do, that's why he also produced and wrote all the songs," Ronny Yu said this to the reporter.

In May 1995, Leslie starred again in another film directed by Ronny Yu - "Phantom Lover" (which was a re-make of the classic China movie directed by Maxu Weibang, "Song At Midnight"). As depicted in the story line of this film, Leslie appeared with a half broken face because of burnt wounds. Ronny commented, "He is absolutely a brave actor. He has nothing to hide, he doesn't care what other people will say, and has full confidence. Above all, he has an amazing charisma. When Raymond Wong talked with me about this project for the second time (I refused when he offered this project for the first time) - I told Leslie about it and he had no doubts in getting involved in it. Of course he knew he must appear with an ugly face in the film, but he liked the challenges. He dedicated himself totally in this project and offered to write the soundtrack. I changed many scenarios. I concentrated in the love story and eliminated the parts regarding the Japanese invasion." Leslie's co-star in this film was Taiwanese actress Jacqueline Ng (Wu Chien Lien) who was later nominated as Hong Kong best actress for her appearance in this film. Leslie was actually a producer of this film. Also starring in the film was Mainland Chinese young star, Huang Lei. "Phantom Lover" was screened for the first time on 22 July 1995.

"Dan"

An internationally renowned director had once remarked that in the then Chinese movie world, only two actors could play the feminine roles "dan" in Chinese Opera. They were Leslie Cheung and John Lone. It was surprising to note that Beijing Opera professors in Shanghai had high regards for Leslie. They thought Leslie had studied Opera before. The photo of Leslie as Cheng Dieyi (a famous "dan" in the Beijing Opera) playing the role of Concubine Yu in "Farewell My Concubine" was published in "Movie Picture", a leading entertainment weekly magazine in Europe for US$20,000. Since then, the Europeans regarded Leslie's long and expressive eyes (from the photo) as "Eyes of Phoenix" and his English name 'Leslie' had become widely known in the western movie world. Movie critics concluded that John was profound and handsome whereas the beauty of Leslie was expressed in a much softer and subtle way.

Whenever Leslie visited Beijing, he would always try to contact his Beijing opera tutor in the film "Farewell" - Shi Yan-sheng and his wife Zhang Man-ling. He would definitely visit them no matter how busy he was. Everybody would be very happy even though he could chat with them for a little while or brought them to dinner. They used to talk over the phone on every Lunar New Year. Zhang Man-ling said that Leslie was a person who needed love, warmth and truth. He was pretty naïve in front of them, like a child. When Leslie came to their house, he would sit or kneel down on the floor, chatting with them freely. Zhang Man-ling used to fry sliced radish for him. He enjoyed them very much. When he moved to a new house in the same year, Shi and his wife wanted to send him a house-warming gift. He told them they didn't have to send anything but a pair of slippers. In Hong Kong, slippers signified dragging away bad luck. Zhang went to a shopping arcade and bought a pair of leather slippers for him.

Temptress Moon

"Temptress Moon" was the sixth Chen Kaige film. It was the most difficult film in the making process and also the most expensive because it incurred US$7 million or two times the budget of "Farewell My Concubine". It was also the film which required the longest time in the making as Chen Kaige had written the scenes in April 1993 but the shooting only commenced in August 1994. The shooting process was halted because of technological difficulties and resumed again in April 1995 - it took 3 years to complete filming this movie. Leslie Cheung was the leading actor of "Temptress Moon" because the role Yu Zhong Liang was tailor-made for him by Chen Kaige. Gong Li was expected to be the leading lady but she couldn't accept as she was involved in the shooting of "Shanghai Triad" directed by Zhang Yi Mou. Actress Joey Wong and Kwan Pao Huey nominated themselves to be Gong Li’s replacement but Chen Kaige chose Mainland actress Wang Cing Ying. However, in the shooting process Wang couldn't act well (Chen said to her manager that she was not suitable as per the demand of the script and her manager also confirmed that she couldn't act well). Hence, the leading lady was replaced by Chen Hung. After two days of shooting, it was discovered that Chen Hung was involved in another contract. Chen Kaige called Gong Li again and she advised that she would be able to manage her schedule to shoot two films. Leslie's concentration was divided as he had to learn to adapt to three different actresses on 3 occasions. However, he said that he could overcome the situation as a professional actor. Leslie recalled these misfortunes in the making of "Temptress Moon". These three actresses were screen-tested but actually there were five or six others before Chen asked Gong Li. It was a lot of work for Leslie as he had to go through all of these auditions with them without any extra pay. Leslie said that these changes in the cast added five or six months to the production schedule - a development that made "Temptress Moon" twice as costly as the more elaborate "Farewell My Concubine".

With regards to working with Chen Kaige, Leslie said that Chen gave him a free hand working on the set and would discuss with him prior to working on the set. They did a lot of shots. "Temptress Moon" was a different experience as Chen gave him more freedom this time compared to their previous collaboration. They became friends and Chen trusted him. Leslie said that Chen knew more things than him about ancient China or about Beijing but on the contrary Chen was not as knowledgeable about Shanghai. Leslie did not criticize Chen that "Temptress Moon" was not a masterpiece like "Farewell My Concubine" but instead it was a passionate movie. Someone who originated from Beijing would be different from someone who originated from Shanghai and in this case Chen was from Beijing. Shanghai is located in South of China and Beijing is the North of China. There were things that Leslie felt were missed in "Temptress Moon". Even if Leslie hadn't been in China before, he realized it and this fact had been confirmed by his friends.

The cinematographer of "Temptress Moon" was Christopher Doyle. Leslie saw him as a queer guy. In "Temptress Moon" there weren't static close-ups. Doyle always shot with his hand-camera and was always on the move. They had magic moments together. Undoubtedly Doyle was one of the greatest operators. He was a queer fellow! It was not wise to give too much beer as he would be drunk. Leslie remembered that they must shoot again some shots in "Days of Being Wild" as Doyle was drunk and often passed out.

"Temptress Moon" began with the fall of the Qing Dynasty in 1911, Leslie played Yu Zhongliang, a shirttail kid who was the relative of an extravagantly decadent noble family and became obsessed about taking revenge for being ill-treated. He thought he was more or less like John Malkovich in "Dangerous Liaisons". The comparison is apt for Leslie's vengeance was specifically targeted at the family's beautiful heiress played by Gong Li.

Leslie possessed a special charisma beyond the ordinary appeal of any man and woman. It was a rare combination of the masculine and feminine charm, tough with tenderness, gentle and yet strong. Leslie displayed this kind of charm through the character portrayed by him. Shooting of the movie "Temptress Moon" resumed with Leslie playing the role of Yu Zhongliang, a swindler in Shanghai during the Twenties. Again, we could see his surpassing charm through this character. At the beginning, Leslie meticulously analysed the character of Yu both physically and mentally and he put his heart and soul into portraying the character of Yu Zhongliang.

As we watched him in Studio No. 6 shooting the scene in which his identity as a woman swindler was disclosed and Ru Yi asked him if he loved his victim at "Tian Xiang Lane", Yu's soul was being interrogated and tortured. After a few minutes of silence, he shouted at Ru Yi, "I am no longer a servant of your family." In an interview with a reporter, Leslie claimed that the several months of delay in shooting gave him an opportunity to understand the character he played. He thought that Yu did not lead an ordinary life. He was void of parental love since childhood. He experienced severe internal conflict upon seeking refuge in his sister's household. Despite his sensitivity to and yearning for love, love was like poison to Yu. He could not and dared not love. Yu was himself a victim to a certain extent. Leslie's insight after a few months' contemplation - Yu Zhong-liang reflected the feeling of a man in its complexity. Love was passionate and harmful, most personal and hence selfish. Love could be strong enough to burn a man to dust. If a man who longed for love but was hurt by it, he would take revenge. It was something embedded in men's feeling but hard to articulate, and Leslie was talented enough to convey it to his audience. His ability also went beyond ordinary men and actors.

Ren-lei

Chen Kaige chose Ren-lei as the young Zhong-liang in "Temptress Moon". Ren-lei was a secondary one student. He believed in luck when people came together. He was born in the year of the monkey, twenty-four years younger than Leslie. Just like Leslie, Ren-lei lacked childhood warmth. Friends who know them well said they were almost identical from appearance to character-wise. When Ren-lei met Leslie for the first time, the young actor was extremely worried during the screen-test for he had no idea whether to call Leslie as 'uncle' or address him in another way. Leslie pointed out to him that they looked alike. Ren-lei succeeded to take up the role. As he and Leslie shot their scenes separately so they were not as close at the beginning but sometimes they would meet at the hotel. At that time Ren-lei thought Leslie was very approachable to everyone for he broke down the distance and the sense of unfamiliarity between people.

One thing remained in Ren-lei's mind clearly. One day he met Leslie in the lift. Leslie asked him, "How much money do you bring for filming?" Ren-lei said he just had slightly over two hundred RMB. "How can you stay for long-time filming with such an amount of money?" Leslie queried. Ren-lei didn't say a word. Leslie then insisted in giving him some money. There were three children, Ren-lei, one other boy and a girl in the film "Temptress Moon". Director Chen made a joke that the children could be Leslie's adopted sons and daughter. Ren-lei was a young and unhappy boy at that time, and used to think that nobody cared for him. One day, he asked Leslie unintentionally, "Uncle Cheung, it'd be great if you're my godfather." Leslie agreed to his preposition.

Filming came to a standstill as there was a change of actress in the leading role thus giving Leslie more free time to spend with his new godson. Leslie used to play mahjong and chatted with Ren-lei. Within that period, Ren-lei spoke many things from his heart. As Leslie also did not have a happy childhood and longed for love from his parents, he understood Ren-lei very well. When they filmed at Suzhou, Leslie asked Ren-lei if he had tasted Japanese food. He took him on an hour's drive to a Japanese restaurant in Shanghai. Ren-lei could feel that his godfather had a warm heart in taking care of people even to the minor details.

Sometimes the boy knew that Leslie was unhappy but he had never revealed his unhappiness in front of Ren-lei. He still talked to Ren-lei in a gentle voice though he wasn't smiling a lot. Ren-lei cried loudly after he returned to Beijing alone from the shooting. He felt it was too soon to say goodbye to a new place that he had already familiarized with. He was extremely sad. He didn't want to leave. It seemed everything was over like a dream. He had been so down for a few months. Later in that year, Leslie phoned Ren-lei and told the boy he would see him in a hotel. Ren-lei still remembered his facial expression that day when he smiled and said, "I am your godfather." Ren-lei was touched and shocked at that moment. For Ren Lei, Leslie was the most important person in his life.

Leslie phoned Ren-lei whenever he was in Beijing. "Son, what are you doing? Do you have time to see me?" In Ren-lei eyes, his godfather was a father who was very friendly. When they dined together and it was ten o'clock, he would say, "Son, it's time to go home." Then he gave Ren-lei the fee for transportation, and urged him to take care on the road.

At the beginning of his work in "Temptress Moon", Ren-lei kept his distance from people and did not have the sense of safety as in the past, but he became more outgoing during the period when he was close to Leslie, even director Chen praised him for acting more and more naturally. Nowadays Ren Lei didn't go to extremes, and he would maintain a balance no matter how difficult the matter was. All these changes were due to his godfather. He felt Leslie understood and treasured love very well. He could feel Leslie had a true heart by observing how he treated grandma Zhang, grandpa Shi, teacher Sung and those friends in Beijing. His godfather did not look down on people despite his star status and he used to join into a group easily, showing what he wanted in his own way.

Leslie understood Ren-lei's history and he always taught his godson, "Son, you should love your parents. No matter what'd happen, they are your parents." Ren-lei noticed Leslie worked very hard during filming of "Temptress Moon"; he kept memorizing the script in a low voice, even when was dining or traveling. He was a perfectionist and set high standards for himself. The person who transformed Ren-lei enabling him to view the world from a positive perspective, dispersed the many contradictions in his heart and influenced him greatly in his life was Leslie.

Love Leslie

The album "Love Leslie" was launched on 7 July 1995. Most of the songs in this 1995 album "Beloved" were theme songs from the following movies namely: the three beautiful songs from "Phantom Lover" which were well-written by Leslie; "Chase" (which was extremely popular) from the movie "He's a Woman, She's a Man"; the excellent theme song of "The Bride with White Hair" sung emotionally in a helpless and desperate mood - hopeless love in the tragedy; the theme song of "Farewell My Concubine", "When Love Became a Thing in the Past" which was very well sung with all feelings slowly disappearing into the boundless darkness, the theme song from "Days of Being Wild" and finally the theme song from his then new film "Temptress Moon". Rock spent HK$ 4 million for the album promotion. Within a short time, 210,000 copies of this album had been sold. This album was included in the Top Five Best Selling Album of the Year by IFPI.

Leslie also became very famous in Mainland China. There were traffic jams whenever Leslie was having autography sessions in Beijing, Shanghai and other cities in PROC. In Kaoshiung, Taiwan, 500 fans had been waiting for him at the airport to welcome him with banner in hand. They also queued to get Leslie's signature. With his return to his music world, Leslie was welcomed back into the warmth of his faithful fans.

Best Actor

Following was the list of winners of the "First Hong Kong Film Critics Society":

In 1995, Leslie was nominated as Best Actor at the 14th HK Golden Film Award for his performance in "He's a Woman, She's a Man" and was also nominated as Best Actor at the 40th Asia Pacific Film Festival in Jakarta, Indonesia. He was again chosen as the best Hong Kong actor in Japan.

In Hong Kong, Leslie was a regular patron to many different restaurants such as the Lobby and Harbourside of Regent Hotel; the Peninsula's luxurious restaurant, a restaurant in Wan Chai, the Victoria City restaurant, other classical Chinese restaurants, renowned for their sophisticated food, which serves excellent dim sum and Sun Dau Kee in Jordan which opens until late at night where one could chat and play mahjong after dinner. He also liked the refined Italian restaurant Cova in Pacific Place.

Leslie's Party

On 12 September 1995, Leslie celebrated his 40th birthday merrily. Actually Leslie was 39 years old at that time, but according to Chinese calendar, his age was 40 years old. His countenance with its childlike innocence and sweetness gracefully camouflage the footprints of time and destiny at age 40. Leslie said that he did not believe in plastic surgery or the so-called 'elixir of life' to restore youth. He said, "I just want to live happily everyday. I am never concerned about my age; it doesn't mean anything at all!"

It was clear that Leslie was the entertainer who was very respected by his colleagues. Hong Kong celebrities bringing with them presents came to attend his party and to congratulate him on his birthday. The guests were Anita Mui and her boyfriend Vincent Zhao Wen Zhou, Tsui Hark, Anita Yuen with her boyfriend Julian Cheung, Kenny Be with his wife Teresa Cheung, Carina Lau, John Teng, Shi An Hua, Eliza Chan, Chen Hui Lien, Willie Chan and Chao Ching Ce. Leslie's hairstylist Ricky Kwok attended with his girlfriend Hillary Shi. Chinese director Chen Kaige met his star Gong Li and producer Hsu Feng on Leslie's party. Of course Leslie's family also attended that party including his mother Mrs. Cheung, his godmother Irene Tam and his god-brother Daffy Tong. Leslie arrived at the venue at 6.00 pm. He was immediately welcomed by his fans who showered him with birthday gifts. Leslie's car was full with gifts and flowers. The atmosphere was very cheerful.

Women & Anita Yuen

In an earlier interview, Leslie was asked by a reporter to name a Japanese artist that he would like to work with. Leslie responded that he liked the movie "Silk Snow" made in 1993 and directed by Ishikawa. He also said that he liked all the actresses in the movie but he could not remember their names. As these actresses were all very matured, the reporter asked him if he preferred matured ladies. Leslie said matured women were more charming and he liked things in the old times. The women he liked were women from the era of the 30s and 40s.

Anita Yuen asked Leslie to be her singing teacher. Leslie agreed. They toasted to each other as a sign of their agreement. However because of his tight schedules, Leslie suggested to Anita to learn singing from Roman Tam. The two of them often watched musical show during their learning teaching process. At the end of 1995, Leslie was chosen as the most fashionable artiste taking into consideration his proportionate body with his dashing and attractive looks.

Relationship

Leslie returned to Mainland China to continue the shooting process of "Temptress Moon". A reporter visited Leslie in the shooting location for three days. They just chit-chatted and the reporter almost forgot to ask him questions. Fortunately Leslie understood his friend's responsibility and so he started talking on his own accord. He started off the topic talking about relationship.

"I am always not in Hong Kong, so it is really not easy for him. Sometimes I feel that it is very unfair to him, maybe, I should just announce our relationship to the public; this could be of some help. At least I will feel more relaxed. I don't give a shit to go and lie to anyone. To be together for 15 years is not easy, especially for us working in this field. Moreover we are still so nice to each other. He will come to Mainland China to visit me whenever he finds time, and the feeling is still very sweet. I don't really mind telling the public about our relationship, I really don't mind telling the public about our relationship as long as I know that it will give me a touching feeling whenever I review such reports. Others have asked me whether I was afraid that people would exploit me. I would answer 'Go ahead!', I am already 39 years old, no longer a pop idol, there is nothing to hide at this stage. The time has changed; the audiences want to see a serious actor, nothing to do with an artiste's personal life."

If one observes this pair of young couple of Leslie and his lover, one will really have a feeling that youth passes. When they started dating 10 years ago, friends would raise their thumbs up and praised them saying they were very compatible. There were many people who envied them but there were also many who were very jealous. After so many years of ups and downs, it was not hard to understand the strong foundation of their love. His lover has a successful career and status. Despite his busy schedule, he was willing to spare his time to fly over to Mainland China to visit Leslie, and from this fact you could understand his love towards Leslie. Their love and relationship could never be destroyed by anyone.

Lok Bing was a music producer, songwriter and lyricist. One night many years ago, he was an innocent young man and Beijing University had not yet expelled him. He loved the song called 'Monica', and in his opinion it was rapturous music from heaven. Lok Bing had broken up with his girlfriend and he indulged himself in cigarettes and in the song 'Monica'. He played the song over and over again. He thought this guy called Cheung Kwok Wing was wild and sad. The song soothed him and gave him a reason to embrace pain. Later Lok Bing did some research on pop music in Hong Kong and Taiwan. He came to the conclusion that the era of Cheung Kwok Wing and Tam Wing Lun was Hong Kong's golden years. Things just went downhill after them. He thought they were the bona-fide superstars. They influenced him and he envied the guys who wrote for them. Those guys worked in a great environment with a good system and brilliant superstars.

Lok Bing was a Leslie fan, for him Leslie was a "miracle" - mysteriously showing him the truth on that cool autumn night. Seven years after Lok Bing left Beijing University, Leslie was in his prime years. On a cool autumn's evening Lok Bing was celebrating Mid-Autumn Festival with a group of friends at Ms. Lau's place. Big Sister Lau (Ms. Lau) was from Taiwan and she knew a lot of people in the entertainment business in Hong Kong and Taiwan. They liked to gather in her courtyard to socialize and have fun. She told Lok Bing that she had invited Leslie to the party. She told him that Leslie had just made a comeback and his record was selling like hot cakes. Lok Bing was getting excited. They brought crabs and dinner was all ready when Leslie appeared. Lok Bing's eyes lit up at the sight of him. He remembered one of his girlfriends absolutely loved Leslie, remarking that he was as gentle as the breeze and remarkably handsome. She would faint in ecstasy if someday Leslie appeared before her. Then Lok Bing said, "Well I leave you to Leslie then". Some years ago, he had watched "A Better Tomorrow" with a girl in a very small theatre in Zhongxian. They saw Leslie walking towards his rival. Suddenly Lok Bing realized he had seen the film a few times already. Their hearts ached because he would soon be killed. His acting was so smooth and so good. They were deeply touched by the way he smiled, the way he looked back - endearingly and desperately. Leslie was enchanting, bewitching, and naturally sexy. His fans were mesmerized and Lok Bing was one of them. Some of Leslie's films touched him so deeply. In those days Leslie was like a smiling fairy from heaven, watching his every move. He had a certain charisma, slowly sipping through his days of despair. Later, Lok Bing saw "Farewell My Concubine" and he realized Leslie had reached new heights. He was the film's shining light, delicate and tender, bewitching everyone with his smile and laughter. Lok Bing watched so many of his films and forgot some of their titles. He didn't have to remember all the characters which Leslie portrayed. Leslie was in his heart and from there he reached out. He was everywhere when Lok Bing needed a tender and loving moment.

He liked this feeling. Leslie died in his films but lived in his fans' hearts. Big Sister Lau's beauty had lit up the room, but behind her was Leslie of more dazzling beauty. She introduced them all and then sat by the side and watched musicians in the Mainland exchanging ideas with those from Hong Kong. She said, "Look at Leslie! A man in his 40's but is still so seductively charming and so graceful!". And she was right. There was a man always by his side, following his steps quietly. They all knew his sexual preference and yet respected it, accepting his choice as the norm. Dinner started and they got to know each other well after a few drinks. From the sitting room came the songs from "Farewell My Concubine". Leslie wanted their comments. They made their comments with some reservations. They all liked him at first sight. Leslie was so well mannered and elegant. His smile gave them a very good feeling. They have met a lot of big stars, many of them demanded credit and ended up causing bad feelings.

"No, you are all too kind, you have to be honest with me. You are all experts," Leslie said keenly and softly. They laughed and told him there was still a gap between them - Hong Kong and Taiwan. Leslie said, "Your achievements in some areas are great. Our rock and roll is nowhere as good as yours."

"Your music is so refined" Lok Bing said, "So smooth, like the lake surface in autumn; like shiny silk, so exquisite and soft". Leslie's eyes lit up. He casually put his arm around Lok Bing's shoulder and a faint sense of seduction came from him. "You are really poetic, Bing!" he said. Lok Bing had never liked a man as much as he liked Leslie at that instant. It could be a sign of something.

Lok Bing only knew that he loved Leslie and their love transcended the kind of brotherly love between men. Apart from his seductive charm, Leslie displayed an extraordinarily charisma which signified some special meanings to Lok Bing.

Leslie became his days and his years. Leslie's voice, image and language was a reflection of Lok Bing's forgotten feelings and his bygone days. Now as he was seated opposite Leslie, hugging Leslie, taking photos, laughing, drinking and talking with Leslie, Lok Bing was suddenly overcome with determination that he had to work harder so that years later, fans would go up to him and in a state of agitation to declare to him 'my days are made up of your songs'.

That night Leslie and Lok Bing talked a lot. "How do you manage to excel in both singing and acting?" Lok Bing asked. "They are the same". Leslie said. "Why?" Lok Bing asked, and Leslie replied, "Because they are the same." They both laughed. "I have not seen too many of your films nor listened to too many of your songs" Lok Bing told Leslie honestly. "That doesn't matter. I would consider it an achievement if they can impress you just a little." Lok Bing told Leslie that he would remember that statement. The crabs smelled great and they enjoyed eating them. The crabs were in their own being possessed, bitten and swallowed. There was a sense of helplessness and waste about them. Lok Bing told Leslie his feeling and he wasn't surprised. He just smiled tiredly and said, "I know the feeling from years back. You will know after some time." "Why?" Lok Bing asked. "When you become popular, you will understand. After you have gone through more, you will understand more." "How do you know I will become popular?" "Everyone here today will become popular, can't you see?" Lok Bing shook his head in disbelief. "I am getting old. You people are taking over."

Leslie said with a smile. Again Lok Bing felt that dazzling and seductive charm disseminating on them all. "But you have just made a comeback, and your new record is so successful". Leslie laughed and said, "You are still young."

"Well yes!" Sister Lau was passionately talking with her guests. "Come let's have a toast! A toast to our Leslie wishing that he'll be forever young and beautiful!"

"Can I write for you?" Lok Bing asked Leslie. He didn't hear his question. Lok Bing repeated it and then found Leslie had already left. They partied late into the night in that courtyard where Lok Bing was happy. Leslie was easy-going. His laughter and his low and magnetic voice echoed through the courtyard. Lok Bing knew he was not a star-chaser, but that night he saw a certain possibility for himself. Then he realized he would never be able to reach the status that Leslie had reached.

Lok Bing was drinking too much but he didn't make a fool of himself. He knew he was in a state of intoxication, he could have been in this state even before he started drinking. That night the sky was full of stars, his best friends were there, an enchanting and romantic Leslie was there. Lok Bing saw them having fun, and they were carefree. Leslie's singing was so captivating and his voice ascended to the moon like smoke. He saw fireworks rising from Leslie's shoulder, engulfing them, wandering through their hearts. Fireworks were short-lived, but for one wondrous and shining moment, Lok Bing found consolation. It was the kind of happiness so powerful and great that it momentarily conquered the boundless darkness.

pictures of this page are from Leslie's Pillow but also from May, Leslie Cheung Cyberwold, Leslietango and www.brigittelin.com

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