Well, I started this in a Monty Python vein . . . I might as well end it on one. ^_~
So the group continued forward, searching for a village to sell Divon's stash of alcohol. Slowly Divon's backpack became more and more empty due to Miaka's insistent whines for food. "I'm down to only one box of milk flavored Pocky and a six pack of Jolt; we've got to find a village soon," Divon observed.
At that moment, Nobara and Rence returned from scouting ahead, "I smell mischief coming from that direction," Rence pointed in the perpendicular to their current direction, "which could mean a village is that way . . . or just some ruffians making trouble."
Nobara chimed in, "I agree; I can sense an absence of wild life in the same direction which usually signifies a gathering of people of some magnitude."
Immediately cheering up, Tasuki no Miko replied, "Good, some sleep
in a real bed would be excellent! Ooh, and a bath . . . Let's go, if we
hurry maybe we can make it before it gets dark." So with renewed spirits
the group pushed forward unknowing of what awaited them in the village
ahead . . .
* * * * * * * * * *
Elsewhere, a girl walked alone. "Where am I? I remember working on my
webpage at home and then . . . and then, what? I was here, where ever here
is." The girl was in her early twenties, dark of hair, eye, and skin (well,
if you didn't know she was hispanic, you'd think she had a nice tan) wearing
a t-shirt, jeans, and sandals. She had no choice but to continue walking
through the forest, hoping to find someone to question, or some food, or
anything at all. "This sucks."
* * * * * * * * * * *
Two hours and a box of Pocky later, the group of Miko and seishi entered a little village. It appeared quite empty, especially considering that it wasn't full dark yet. "How strange, I don't think the village is deserted, my senses keep telling me otherwise, " Nobara remarked, "Its almost as if the villagers were hiding themselves away."
"Maybe my insanely long hair (c) is frightening them away, " mused Priya.
"Maybe the fact that you're dragging along a gagged and hog-tied Miaka is why," quipped Cat, pointing to the rope Priya was trailing behind her.
"That is odd, but I will not let that ruin my good mood, or my chance to get a proper bath!" To which everyone turns to stare at their Miko, who is standing in the Scarlett O'Hara 'I will never be hungry again' pose, "Well, I won't. Let's ask around, knock on doors. We need to find a bar to sell the liquor to . . . then we'll have the money to rent some rooms . . . and then we can buy some food . . . and find the rest of the seishi . . . and then callTasuki!!!"
By this time, the seishi have scattered in the direction of the four winds, whispering to each other "Miko is kowaii yo!" And, "I think the Pocky is getting to her." And, "I knew we should have stopped her from finishing off the whole pack of Jolt!"
Nevertheless the seishi obeyed their Miko and tried their best to ask villagers to point out the nearest bar. Needless to say, this only frightened the villagers more . . .
Eventually, a bar was found . . . it was a small village after all. Being somewhat mostly under the drinking age of their world, the group entered the bar cautiously. It was like no bar any of them had ever seen. "Doilies? I never would have expected doilies in a bar," said Kristi as she pointed at what definitely looked like a doily laying over arms of the chairs in the bar.
Peering closer, Cat replied, "These aren't chairs, look," as she reached out and pushed one of the chairs near her and it proceeded to . . . rock. "Rocking-chairs? This place just keeps getting weirder and weirder."
"Okay, so it's an eccentric village. Let's just find the bartender, sell the alcohol, and get this all over with already," implored Tasuki no Miko.
Priya then strode up to the bar and proceeded to pound upon it, "Oii, service!"
A man in his late thirties, very frightened, appeared at the ruckus, "What are you doing here? No one is supposed to be here, get out now!"
"Excuse me, " attempted Tasuki no Miko in her sweetest voice, "but we have business for you. You see . . ."
"I don't care! If they catch you here, we'll all be in trouble! Don't you understand!?!" The bartender yelled as he interrupted the Miko mid-sentence.
"Wait, who are 'they'? Why would we be in trouble?" demanded Kristi. Suddenly a mass of footsteps could be heard approaching the bar. That's all it took for the bartender to quickly run into the back to hide without saying a word more.
"Now what?" Divon wondered aloud.
Rence said only one word as the footsteps got closer, "Mischief."
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Man, I'm getting really tired of walking. A village! What a minute
. . . a village? This definitely isn't Texas anymore . . .," said the girl
as she continued, much more optimistic and energetic than before, toward
the somewhat empty looking village.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
"What have we got here?" exclaimed a rough voice as the group turned to meet the newcomers. Facing the Miko and seishi troupe was easily a group of thirty-some-odd old women . . . really manly, ugly, mean-looking old women.
Everybody sweat-drops.
"You dare to enter our turf uninvited?" continued the lead old woman, "This is the headquarters of Hell's Grannies; no one is allowed here except our members."
"Hell's Grannies?" echoes the group.
"Gimme a break," exclaims Priya, "Oii baba, we don't have time for this! Shove-off, we have business to conduct with the bartender."
"BABA!?!?!" howled the head Granny, "Well, that dispenses with any leniency we might have offered you. Grannies, get 'em!"
"Yeah right, try this on for size," smirked Priya as she untied Miaka and let her loose on the unsuspecting gang approaching. Having not eaten in hours, Miaka quickly began to whine and cry and call for Tamahome, Miko-tachi were disturbed themselves by their own weapon, but . . . it was having no effect upon the Grannies. "What?? Why isn't it effecting them?" muttered Priya as she covered her ears from the torrent of Tamahomes.
"Ha! You think such a thing as a whining child will affect us? We each have at least five grandchildren who whine harder than that one over there," touted the lead Granny.
"LEKKA KAZE" bellowed Cat as her seishi wind power blew a portion of the Grannies away . . . but they kept on coming. "Damn, it's not going to be enough!"
Kristi unleashed a flow of water at the Grannies approaching her, but again, they regrouped and continued toward their young prey. "Uso!"
"What are we going to do?" cried Tasuki no Miko, "They're unbeatable."
Then, from outside, a girl appeared, peeking her head into the bar. "Ano, I was just passing through and I heard a commotion from in here . . ." She then caught sight of the Grannies and something started to happen inside of her. A word started to form in the back of her throat, trying to escape, trying to get to the old women facing her . . . "NI!"
The Grannies cringed as a group and turned to face the newcomer. "What's this?" screeched the visibly shaken head Granny, but she got no further before . . .
"NI!" the girl repeated again with more force this time. The Grannies began to pale; some fell to the floor; some tried to run for safety, but got their skirts caught on rocking chairs or the flailing arms of their comrades; and yet others were just stupefied to immobility. "NI! NI! NI!" The barrage continued, until every Granny was immobile on the floor.
"Thank you" said Tasuki no Miko to the girl, who was finally turning away from the women on the floor, "I don't know how we would have beaten them without you."
"Oh, no problem. Like I said, I heard noises and came to investigate," and as she turned to take another look at the Grannies on the floor, "NI! NI!"
The group sweat-drop as the Ni-ing continued, until Priya finally walked up to the girl and full out punched her in the face after which she proceeded to drag the girl out of the bar. "Itai! What was that for?" asked the girl, rubbing her newly-reddened cheek.
"You wouldn't stop saying 'Ni' even though the baba-tachi are all passed-out already," explained Priya.
"Hmm, I don't know what came over me. I saw the old ladies and I just lost control," pondered the girl as she picked herself off the ground. "By the way, who are you people? And where the hell am I?"
"I was just about to ask you the very same questions," said Tasuki no Miko as she and the others walked out to join Priya and the stranger. "Judging by your clothes, what we just saw you do in the bar, and the fact that your left breast is glowing . . . I would venture to say that you are originally from the world we are all from, " Miko gestured to all the seishi, "and finally that you are a Tasuki no Seishi! Yatta!"
"My breast?" squeaked the girl as she looked down at herself, and sure enough an orange kanji was glowing there. "Herring. That wasn't there before. I hear a name emanating from the kanji, . . . Tasuki no Seishi, Nu Wanda, but you can call me felicia."
"felicia? Nice to meet you. I am Tasuki no Miko, and these are your fellow seishi."
"Howdy. How many seishi do you have to find?" and visually counted the seishi present, "Hey, I'm number seven! Is that it? Can we call Tasuki?"
Sweat-drop. "Um, no. I'm afraid there are 23 Tasuki no Seishi to find," explained Miko.
felicia face-vaults, "23?!? Wow, that's going to take a while."
As Miko and seishi were discussing matters and becoming acquainted, the bartender stuck his head out of the bar and quickly moved toward the group. "Thank you. Thank you so much. They were the terror of the whole village! Name your reward and we'll try to pay it. Thank you!" babbled the bartender.
"Anything . . ." mused Tasuki no Miko, a eerily crazed look coming over her face, "after what we've been through the last few days??? First, I want you to buy our alcohol for a fair price, then I want rooms for all of us for the night, and food supplies for when we leave, and a bath!! Above all else, I want a nice, warm, luxurious bath!" That fist raising again of its own accord.
felicia tapped Rence on the shoulder, and asked "Is she always
like this?"
authors note: Hell's Grannies was originally a Monty Python sketch. It just seemed fitting to use them as my character was heavily python influenced. *^_^*