JOY'S LIFE
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My name is Suwan Radderm (for friends Joy), I was born of refugees laotian parents 33 years ago, from Kabinburi's province. I was only one year old when my father died for a car incident. That was the greatest suffering of my life, I've never really had a true father. My mother Nang some years after, put herself with another man, he wasn't a father for me, because he behaved very badly to me. I only remember his spite because I wasn't his daughter. My mother, in fact, gave birth to two daughters: Hlot and Noy During my infancy I was a baby sitter for my "sisters", because my mother and her man were often absent for long periods. In order to go and work in rice-field. For these reasons I've only attended the first five classes of the primary school. I've abandoned the school agaist my will, because I couldn't stand that rhythm of life..
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Today I'm attending a fast course for the secondary school. I like studying very much. When I was only 16 years, my mother obliged me to marry a 26 years old boy of that country, even though I didn't love him: in thailand it is customary, in rural districts. At 18 years old I gave birth to my first son, named don. After three years I had my second son, named Jey. My life, then was already a hell because my husband beat me. He did it even when I was seven mounths pregnant with my second son, and he forced me to work (he didn't work) with my mother in the rice-field. In the evening when I came back home very tired after work, he claimed the little money earned to go and drink with friends, playing billiards "pool". When he come back home, he was drunk, he beat me and he assault me.
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Until one day I went to a police-station for a denunciation, but the policeman told me that a woman has to submit her husband. Some evening after I run away to Patong "Phuket"with my cousin, looking for adventures: at first all was beatiful anyway, one day I start working in a bar because I needed money for my mother and my two sons. My husband, infact was escaped with another woman. Since then on everything has changed: I've met many men without scruples, above all european man, I've sold my body for a few bath (thailand money), every night. Somebody assault me, they didn't want to use the condom and at that time I ignored the risks, so jve found myself in a no- return tunnel, I became HIV-positive.
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The following months I felt very bad psycologically, I slept during the day and at night, I kept going to bars, drinking a lot of alcoholics offered by tourists, and sometime I accepted their sexual proposals. I didn't believe I was hiv-positive, in fact I often went to hospital for new blood-tests, I hoping to be hiv-negative, but vainly. I've only opened my heart to my cousin: I knew that if "the boss" of the bar had become acquainted with my problems, he would have expelled me and so my friends, leaving me alone with my destiny.
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My life was hard a lot, my through were often for my sons, always I looked at the few pictures I had of them, I missing them so much.the doctors told me to go back home, I prayed buddha everyday in despair, I had stopped also eating and was tired of living. An evening I met an italian boy, I thought he was the usual tourist but then I've understood that he was quite different from all the other boys: in fact he was looking for somebody to rely on, he had a one week-lasting unsuccessful. I've opened my heart to him, it is not been easy but I am happy now because he understood me and he helped me psycologically and economically. He convinced me to leave patong and together we went back home, in Sakaeo.
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Unfortunately my family was very large, my mother, in the meanwhile, got together with a new man and they had a baby (he is 10 years old now); my old sister Hlot married and mother of a 3 years old son, another sister Noy and my two sons. My house was crumbling, made of wood and sheet there was not hygiene inside and the bathroom was outside it. One of my dreams was having a new house for me, my sons. Thanks to him after three years of hard work my has become true and I had a goad to go ahead, keeping on living until Buddha will allow it.
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Talking about my disease, someday I feel fine, someday not. Last year I was hospitalized urgently and I underwent an operation. An ovary was removed but now I'm fine, even thougt I have to take medicines against pain. I take care my HIV-positivity going to a clinic for phleboclysis, when I feel weak and tired. I also drink the boiled bark juice of a thailand tree (recommended by a friend of mine). I can't bear the cost of the official treatment for my disease, the so called H.A.A.R.T. (highly active anti-retroviral therapy), will cost 10,000 Bath every three mounths (220 USD) and every lab test will cost 8,000 Bath ( about 200 USD).
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Good luck for me now have
treatment anti-retroviral made in thailand the
GPO-VIR,
will cost 30 bath for the treatment and 250 bath every lab-test.
My lab test you can read here
My thought are now turned to my children, I've never asked for anybody's help but I'll soon I die. Please help them keeping on going to school and living a more dignified life. I don't want that my children find to the way to the prison or the juvenile prostitution… I'd like they had a life better than mine.
